


My True Addiction

by addictiontofiction13



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eating Disorders, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-03-12 05:50:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13541058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addictiontofiction13/pseuds/addictiontofiction13
Summary: "I usually compare him to a drug injected to my veins that keeps me up on high even on days i couldn't get out of bed. But what I never say, what I'm afraid to admit, is that most of the times I fear that I'll get used to this feeling, that I'll get used to this high, and that one day I'll wake up, desensitized, with all my lovestruck feelings for him gone." - Cynthia Go, If Love is a Drug





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!!! I hope you guys enjoy this beautiful fanfiction I've come up with! I want to thank my three betas - enigma, krystal_pheonix, and weeny - for sticking with me and putting up with my trashy writing while we work on this.
> 
> Please enjoy! I'd appreciate any and all comments and kudos so please hand 'em up!!!
> 
> Also follow me on tumblr for drabbles, sebaciel pictures, etc. at addictiontofiction13.tumblr.com <3

Ciel Phantomhive sighed with ease, petite arms wrapped around his slender shoulders as he craned his neck to gaze behind him with pursed lips and an innocent look placed on the perfect features of his feminine face.

 

“Hold that pose!”, said the photographer as he bent down to snap a picture. He stood and walked to both sides, snapping more as he went.

 

An aching growl met Ciel’s ears as his stomach grumbled and then he was released, uncurling his arms from around himself. “That a wrap?” he asked with a wide grin, hoping to sneak away to the snack table laid out for the group of people in the room.

 

“Not quite. We've got one more outfit for the Lander’s Summer line we'd like you to try,” the elderly man responded.

 

Ciel groaned inwardly and began to walk off the set, his slender and trembling fingers working the buttons on his shirt. “I'll go change then.” His voice was always chipper when working, and all the tabloids constantly praised him, how _nice_ it was to shoot with him, being so kind.

 

“You're lovely as always, Ciel,” said his aunt Angelina when he reached his dressing room. “Those are going to come out great.”

 

“Like they always do,” he replied with a small smile. He reached for the outfit he would be in next, a tiny men’s romper with plaid pattern and little skull and crossbones everywhere. It was hideous in Ciel’s opinion, but he would be made to look stunning in it, he was sure. “Isn't Grell supposed to be here before the shoot is finished today?”

 

“He just called, dear, he's running a bit late. He said 20 minutes, tops.” Angelina ran a perfectly manicured hand through her vibrant red hair.

 

 _Of course he is,_ Ciel mused inwardly as he pulled the pants he'd been photographed in off of his skinny legs. “Have him see me as soon as he arrives.” He wasn’t usually so snappy with his guardian, cheeks pink at the thought. The slate-haired boy felt a shiver rake through his body as the air touched his frame. “And I thought I asked to have _that_ covered,” he hissed as his shining blue eyes caught sight of the full-body length mirror against the wall directly adjacent to where he stood in only a pair of boy shorts.

 

Model or no model, Ciel Phantomhive hated his body. His ribs were visible, stomach flat, hip bones clear and jutting out profusely to barely hold up his undergarments. His legs were perfectly thin with a small, stunning two inch gap between his thighs. His collar bones were deep, and his jaw sharp. His skin tone was pale, almost sickly, and contrasted against the wide, sapphire blue of his eyes.

 

And all he saw was fat - _disgusting, shameful, nasty fat_.

 

“I'll have it done immediately, dear,” Angelina said as she stood to throw her blood red jacket over the mirror to release Ciel's gaze from it.

 

He lowered his eyes and thanked her quietly, slipping the disgusting romper over his petite shoulders. Head held high after making sure it was fitting snugly, he walked out of his dressing room and toward the make up table. The girls there dressed his face and had him on his way once again in no time.

 

“Ready, Phantomhive?” asked the photographer.

 

He nodded, waiting patiently as the man explained poses for him, in which he pulled off beautifully, apparently, though he was sure it was all in the camera work. He wasn’t beautiful, he was just _gross_.

 

As the photographer finished the pictures of his last outfit for the day, a high-pitched and overly flamboyant voice echoed throughout the stage, “Perfect! Oh, Ciel, these are going to turn out lovely!”

 

The boy’s gaze turned to watch as Grell Sutcliff, his manager, burst into the set and sauntered toward him with grace and poise. His eyebrows knitted together, hating to see that long red hair any day of the week, though he knew it was a requirement of his job.

 

He plastered on a fake smile, walking toward Grell to meet him halfway. “Grell,” he said with feigned kindness. “How great to see you again.”

 

“Oh, isn’t it, though?” Grell beamed while flipping that hair Ciel hated over his shoulder. “I’ve got such good news for you, too.”

 

One eyebrow twitched upward. _You’re not my manager anymore?_ he thought, but didn’t say. “What is it?” he asked instead, fingers playing with a button on his romper.

 

“You’re going to Paris in September!” the redhead squealed, earning a gasp from the teenager.

 

“I’m a part of fashion week?” he exclaimed, to which, his manager nodded. He nearly screamed, bouncing up and down. He felt his skin jump with him, which instantly made him stop, thinking only of the fat being visible to everyone around him. His smile faltered for just a moment, but then it came back brighter than ever. “That’s amazing news.”

 

“I’ll have everything prepared for you. Don’t worry about a thing.” Then the emerald eyes narrowed just a fraction as he leaned down to be eye level with the boy. He gripped Ciel’s jaw between his index finger and thumb, tilting his head side to side. “Hmm… I could’ve sworn I noticed you’d lost some weight, but now that I’m up close, you’ve actually gained a few ounces. You might want to fix that.”

 

Ciel’s smile disappeared for good, eyebrows falling as well. He recoiled from the man’s touch, nodding his head. _I know._

 

Grell walked off, leaving Ciel to his thoughts. He pulled his phone from a handbag he had stashed on the side of the stage, digging through a folder on it. The folder itself was filled with miscellaneous things he never touched: Google documents, a language app - he had been learning French at one point in time, but the app had laid there forgotten, his email, and other random things he didn't care for. He wasn't looking for any of those things, though. He clicked on a calorie counter.

 

 _283_ , he read, and a groan escaped his lips. He reached for the black coffee beside his bag, his favorite roast from Starbucks which was only five calories per twenty ounces touching his tongue as he tipped back. The taste was bitter and cold, but it felt so good in his empty stomach.

 

His eyes flitted back over the food table, and his feet pushed him toward it. Just as he was about to grab hold of a piece of chicken, he flinched back. _Four more pounds_ , he screamed inside his head.

 

He grabbed a celery stick instead.

 

***

 

Sebastian rubbed both hands along his face, garnet eyes down on the concrete as he lazily trudged his way into work. He peeked up at the amount of people in the shitty, little diner as the _ding_ of his arrival made a few heads spin in his direction. Luckily there was only a handful of people actually dining in the restaurant.

 

“Sebastian!” called one of the servers, a bubbly girl by the name of Mey-Rin, from behind the bar of the restaurant. “You’re late today.”

 

“Long night,” he replied as he made his way back toward the kitchen with a wave to the other cook on duty, a blonde man named Baldroy.

 

“Yeah, long night sticking it to a prostitute,” Bard snickered, earning an eye roll from Mey. “You know I’m just fucking with you, man.”

 

Sebastian chuckled and shook his head, and his elbow made its way into Bard’s right side. “Shut up.” He slung an apron over his neck, tying it easily around his slim waist. He checked a ticket in the window and immediately found the eggs next to the stove and cracked three open into a pan.

 

“So what _was_ so long about it?” Mey asked as she stood awaiting her order next to the window separating the dining room from the kitchen. “Prostitute? Drugs?”

 

“Why do you guys think I would ever hire a  prostitute?” said the raven-haired male with a laugh.

 

“You’re right, Sebastian, there ain’t no male prostitutes ‘round these parts,” Bard replied with a snicker, voice thick with a Southern accent. He placed a few pancakes onto a plate, handing the cakes and an empty saucer to the object of their teasing.

 

Sebastian took the plates with a scoff, “Haha, very funny.” He slid the eggs from the pan he had been using and put the saucer in the window, along with the pancakes. “I wouldn’t order a hooker --male or otherwise-- ever.” He sniffled, tugging one of his sleeves further down his arm as it was riding up.

 

“Yeah, sure,” Mey said as she took the food from the window and turned to serve.

 

“Are we talking about prostitutes again?” asked another server, a blonde little thing by the name of Finnian, as he bounced up to the window. “Hiya, Mister Sebastian!” he said with a grin and a little wave of his hand in the man’s direction.

 

“Hey, Finny,” Sebastian replied, garnet eyes not meeting blue as he flashed them over to the boy’s face. “Yeah, prostitutes again, what else would we talk about?”

 

“How about _my_ sex life for a change?” suggested Bard with a holler of laughter.

 

“No one wants to hear about the nasty things you do to me,” Mey retorted as she joined Finny in the window.

 

Sebastian shuddered dramatically, earning a hearty laugh from both Finny and Mey. Bard scowled at his girlfriend. “That’s not what I expected you would say after last night”, he said, a smirk twitching at one corner of his lips. Bard put a pleasured expression on his face and began to mimic a female voice, “Give it to me harder! Oh, that’s so good!”

 

Mey’s cheeks heated beautifully and she wadded up a piece of paper, throwing it and smacking Bard between the eyes. “Shut your whore mouth!” she hissed with another fit of laughter.

 

Sebastian sniffled again, eyes bouncing from person to person with a smile on his face.

 

This was the life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to my wonderful betas - krystal_phenonix, weeny, and enigma! Also thank you for everyone who left kudos!
> 
> Please follow me on tumblr and talk to me about this! You can find me at addictiontofiction13.tumblr.com
> 
> Also give me comments and kudos? Because you love the story?

Winters were bleak in Chicago, Illinois, but Ciel had money on his side for his least favorite season. He wore an oversized, black knit sweater, one from the Lander’s Winter line of 2017, black leggings that clung to his tiny calves and thighs to accent the gap he showed off with pride, and a cute, black beanie covered most of his slate-colored hair.

 

He had just walked out of Starbucks with his favorite 5 calorie roast, one he would be nursing for the majority of the day. His fingers trembled as he raised it to his lips, a hiss escaping his mouth as the first drop burned his tongue.

 

Puffs of breath came from his mouth as he dragged his feet across the pavement. It was getting colder, he noted, shivering in his sweater. Why hadn’t he decided to wear a coat? Or gloves for that matter? The sound of snapping across the street made him remember why. His eyes met the camera and he instantly turned away. There wasn’t a place he could go without cameras following him. Why couldn’t they just leave him alone?!

 

“Excuse me,” whispered someone as they bumped their way past him. The streets were busy today, and Ciel had to be careful with how he was weaving in and out of foot traffic. If he lost his coffee this early in the morning, he’d be so upset.

 

The sleep was still in his eyes, and a yawn escaped his mouth. His feet were still sluggishly scraping against the concrete, despite his fast pace to get away from the paparazzi. He was so tired, as if he was waking from hibernation, though he’d gone to bed at exactly ten the night before - like every night. He was on a schedule.

 

Suddenly, the wind was knocked out of him. Everything happened in a blur, and his chest was on fire. His hands reached behind him to minimize the impact of the fall, but the palms of his hands were both injured and bleeding from the pavement scraping them. His huge, blue eyes widened as he looked up to the bewildered expression of a tall, dark man who hovered over him. The mouth of the man was moving, but Ciel couldn’t hear a word he said. He was too focused in on the burning of his chest, the hot coffee seeping through his six-hundred dollar sweater and right onto his skin.

 

He blinked away the confusion as the stranger reached out a hand to help him up. He gripped it, hissing in pain as his injured flesh met calloused fingers. “Are you alright?” said the man, pulling him to his feet. Ciel looked down at the Starbucks cup on the ground, coffee still spilling from the open lid now crumpled on the concrete.

 

“Fine,” Ciel coughed around the lump forming in his throat.

 

The stranger took his hand back, ran it through tousled, pitch black hair as garnet eyes looked over the shorter boy. Ciel couldn’t help feeling his stomach tighten at the beauty before him. “Are you sure you’re fine?” asked the man, taking note of the crumpled up paper cup on the ground. “I spilled your coffee, didn’t I?” Ciel peeked up at the guy’s face at the tone of his voice, seeing shock on his features.

 

“Yeah, but I’m fine, really.” Ciel smiled brightly at the man, hearing snaps behind his head of cameras that he had been trying to escape. “It was a pleasure meeting you, mister…?” He had begun to back away, his eyes still locked on that beautiful face.

 

Before the stranger could answer, snow began to fall above and between them. The cold wetness played with the concerned lines of the man’s forehead, landed on his nose and lips. Flakes littered Ciel’s eyelashes, and he blinked them away.

 

“Sebastian,” he said, garnet orbs wide with wonder. This boy looked so frail, so gentle. “Please, let me buy you another coffee,” he heard himself telling the teen.

 

_ Sebastian _ , Ciel repeated in his head over and over again. The name fit him so well. “Sure,” he replied, unsure as to why. Sebastian didn’t look like he had the three dollars to spare, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t ready to leave this man’s presence, something about him seeming damn near intriguing.

 

They made their way back to the Starbucks Ciel had just come from, standing a foot apart from each other. “I truly am sorry,” Sebastian would mutter every few seconds, and every time Ciel would hush his apology. It didn’t matter to him. He was just trying his hardest to get away from the flashing of cameras and tabloids of his everyday life. He could see the headlines now:  _ Local Man Buys Fashion Icon Ciel Phantomhive a Coffee after Ruining $600 Sweater _ . It made him shudder.

 

“Are you cold?” Sebastian asked as he opened the door for the teen. Before Ciel could even reply, the man took off his leather jacket and wrapped it around his shoulders. It stunned the boy, and it clearly showed on his face. Sebastian had only a wife beater underneath the leather coat, and without thought, Ciel inclined his head to his own shoulder and sniffed. It was faux, which wasn’t a surprise, but it smelled of cinnamon and a cologne Ciel couldn’t place. It was heavenly.

 

“Thank you,” he replied sheepishly, wrapping the thin thing around his body tightly. He snuggled into it as they stepped up the counter.

 

“Can I get a large Veranda, please,” Sebastian stated to the woman at the register. He looked down to the teenager who stood a bit taller, lifting his chin to appear larger than he actually was. “And two slices of banana bread.” He nodded to himself, this kid needed to eat more. “And for you?”

 

“Venti Sumatra.”

 

Sebastian pulled his wallet from the back pocket of his worn, faded, and ripped jeans. Ciel took note that the man clearly needed some new clothes, but subconsciously buried his nose further into the old leather jacket to smell Sebastian’s scent even more. Sebastian pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill and handed it to the cashier. “Name for the order?” The woman asked politely.

 

“Sebastian.” He replied. She took the money and gave him his change. Sebastian turned, “Would you like to sit or…?” his mouth fumbled for words when he looked down to the slate-haired boy.

 

“I don’t have anywhere to go,” Ciel replied, a small smile playing at his lips from the question. He looked around and saw a booth in a secluded area of he store. He tilted his head in that direction and raised petite eyebrows at the taller man. Sebastian nodded and they walked right over to it, sitting down across from one another.

 

Sebastian played with his fingers, garnet eyes down on them. He had no idea how to start any sort of conversation with the boy, then he realize something… he hadn’t even asked his name yet. And so he did. “You know my name, what’s yours?”

 

Ciel had been staring around the store, noticing that no one had bothered to look in his direction, much to his delight. When he was asked the question, his mind went blank and he snapped his head back to the handsome features of the man’s face. “You don’t know who I am?” he asked, completely awestruck.

 

Sebastian’s eyebrows creased together, eyes going wide. “Should I?” he responded, tilting his head in mild confusion.

 

‘I’m Ciel,” he said, shaking his head. It was delightfully refreshing, hearing this creature - this handsome, good-smelling, overly-apologetic man - didn’t know who the fuck he was. He reached a delicately small hand out to Sebastian, who took it and shook. Sebastian was careful, his grip barely what one would even call a  _ grip _ , though his entire hand could have taken both of his own. Another smile graced Ciel’s porcelain face, and Sebastian’s breath caught in his throat. He averted his eyes, playing with his hands again.

 

_ So I’ll be taking the lead of the conversation, eh? _ Ciel thought to himself. He sighed, putting one of his hands on top of Sebastian’s. “Why are you so nervous?” he asked, confusion now playing at his features. Sebastian took note of the way his nose twitched, how only one side of his mouth curved down, and his bright, azure eyes narrowed just barely, but still in a noticeable way.

 

“To be completely honest with you, I don’t know.” Sebastian’s cheeks tinted just a slight pink, and an embarrassed smile plastered to his lips. Ciel licked his own, then began to worry the lower one.  _ That smile isn’t fair _ , he thought to himself. It was surprisingly attractive. “Tell me something about you,” Sebastian rushed, wanting to see that bottom lip free of tension.

 

“Like what?” Ciel asked, taking his eyes off Sebastian to stop the feeling in his stomach. He wouldn’t call it butterflies, more a family of bears trying to get honey from a beehive.

 

Sebastian racked his brain for all of two seconds before blurting the first question that came to his mind. “Favorite type of music?”

 

The teenager faltered. No one ever asked such mundane things, it was always ‘Ciel, who are you wearing?’ and ‘Ciel, how was working with  _ insert famous designer name here _ ?,’ but his favorite music? Unheard of.  _ Where is that coffee? _ he wondered to himself. “I like a lot of artists, not any specific genre,” he said after a few minutes of thought. “My personal favorites are Rihanna and Miley Cyrus.” Sebastian’s nose scrunched up, and Ciel raised his eyebrows. “What do you listen to?”

 

“ _ AC/DC _ , Kiss, older rock bands.” It was Ciel’s turn to show distaste.

 

“Sebastian!” called a man behind the counter. Sebastian ducked his head as he scooted himself out of the booth to go grab their drinks. He asked once again for his food once he got there, rolling his eyes at the guy as he pulled out his receipt. Walking back to the table, he noticed Ciel’s feet didn’t even reach the floor, except for the very tips of his stylish, ankle-high boots. It was strikingly adorable. He set the drinks and food down, sitting back down across from the teen.

 

“Where were we?” he asked, pushing the bread toward Ciel. Sebastian ripped off a little chunk, popping it into his mouth. “Oh yeah,” he said as he chewed, “you were about to diss my taste in music.”

 

Ciel eyed the bread, trying not to analyze the amount of calories in one bite. He already knew, a full slice of Starbucks banana bread was 420 calories, and that was more than double what he had allowed himself for the day, so he pushed it instantly back toward the older man. “I’ve already eaten my breakfast this morning,” he said, the lie coming off his tongue smoothly. “And yes, that I was,” he chuckled. It was interesting, he thought, laughing with someone who wasn’t his best friend - another model by the name of Alois.

 

Sebastian rolled his eyes, clearly not buying it and sliding a single piece of bread back to Ciel. “You’re too thin, you should eat more than whatever it is you call breakfast.”

 

_ Too thin _ , Ciel repeated in his head. It was like a dream, no one ever said that about him. It was like Sebastian was one-hundred percent different than everyone else he ever associated himself with. He was always too fat or not thin enough.  _ What does  _ **_too thin_ ** _ even mean?  _ he wondered. “I’m fine,” he replied, another lie rolling out of his mouth like honey. Though this one he said so often even  _ he _ believed it.

 

Sebastian sighed. “Yeah, okay,” he said, not believing a single word he said. “So what’s your favorite color?”

 

Neither of them realized it, but they were there for most of the day.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always to my beautiful betas krystal_pheonix, weeny, and reallylongusername!
> 
> Don't forget to leave a kudos if you enjoyed it and tell me what you thought!

A week had passed since the day Sebastian met Ciel. They had spent the majority of the day sitting in Starbucks, just learning small things about each other. They’d easily exchanged phone numbers that day. Ciel was such an interesting boy, and so cute. Sebastian fought with himself much over the last week, especially after learning the boy’s age. He wasn’t too worried about it, really, because their relationship was purely innocent - and non-existent, but Ciel was fifteen. His birthday, however, was tomorrow. Sebastian had been cooking pancakes and eggs all night thoughtlessly, his mind on the slate-haired teenager and  _ what was he going to get him _ ?

 

After a bit of prying for the kid’s last name, Sebastian found him easily on Google. He hadn’t even considered he would be the only Ciel in history to be famous. It was such a unique name - quite fitting for the young man.

 

Sebastian peeked over at his phone, chewing his bottom lip as he flipped a few pancakes over too soon.  _ Oops _ , he thought as Bard  _ tsked _ next to him.

 

“Dude, put your phone away, yea?” said the blonde, turning back to the burgers he was cooking.

 

“Don’t mess with him,” Mey said as she walked up to the window. “He’s too busy thinking about  _ Ciel _ .” She giggled, putting her arms up on the window and laying her chin on top of them.

 

“Am not!” Sebastian said, wiping at his nose with his sleeve. “Okay, maybe I am.” His cheeks heated with a light blush and an embarrassed smile flitted across his face. “I don’t know what to get him for his birthday.” Granted, he only had about seventy-five dollars to his name, and he  _ had  _ planned on using it for other things.

 

“Oh, you said he likes rabbits, right?” asked Finny as he came to stand beside Mey. “There’s a store on the Northside that sells these adorable little bunnies with eyepatches.”

 

Mey grinned, turning to look at Finny. “Oh, that’s perfect! I bet he’d love that, yes he would!”

 

Sebastian thought for a moment, nodding slowly as he piled the pancakes onto a plate and set them in front of Mey. His phone beeped and he swiped it off the counter before Bard could even attempt to. He’d never wanted to password protect his phone around his crew until he’d started talking to Ciel. They were just too curious.

 

‘My aunt is throwing a huge party for me tomorrow. I hate my birthday, tbh’

 

Sebastian tilted his head, and he could just imagine Ciel with a frown on his face as he typed this. His eyebrows creased, shoulders hunched up til the tops almost brushed his soft jawline.

‘Why? What’s wrong with your birthday?’

 

He closed his phone, and shoved it into his pocket. He began to worry his lip, sighing as he cracked three eggs onto the stove.  _ I hate my birthday _ , Sebastian thought. Ciel was too young to worry about age yet, so that couldn’t be it. If anything,  _ he _ should’ve. He would be twenty-eight next month. God, twelve years older than Ciel, that was rough to think about.

 

Bard handed him a plate with hashbrowns and sausage on it. “So, a rabbit?” he asked. “If I were you, I’d’ve gotten ‘im a ring. Swear your loyalty to ‘im.” A crumpled up piece of paper smacked him in the temple and they both turned to Mey as she arrived back at the window for the plate now in Sebastian’s hands.

 

“Says the man who hasn’t proposed after seven years, fucker!” she seethed, making both Sebastian and Bard’s eyes widen.

 

“I’m lookin’ for the best ring, babe, I promise you,” Bard said, grabbing a rolled up blunt from behind his ear and putting it to lips. “‘Ey, Sebastian, the cameras off, right?” he asked, turning back to the man.

 

“Yeah, in the kitchen, anyways.” Sebastian put the eggs he’d been cooking onto the plate and set it in the window next to where Finny had been standing. He’d left several minutes ago to refill drinks.

 

“Oh, Sebastian, I’ve got a cash check. I need change.” Mey pulled a twenty dollar bill out of her server’s book and set it in the window.

 

“What’s the total?” he asked, swiping the money as Bard lit his blunt. “Try to keep the smell down, will you? Karen called me at six a.m. three days ago complaining about it. She wants me to fire you.”

 

Bard scoffed. “Bitch can kiss my ass,” he said when he pulled the blunt out of his mouth, his words slightly slurred from trying to hold as much air in as possible. He exhaled just as Sebastian was turning away to walk to the office.

 

Mey came back into the kitchen, grabbing the weed from Bard as she followed Sebastian. “Karen’s a cunt,” she muttered behind him as she took a drag. Sebastian sat down, a sigh escaping his lips. He began to count out change for Mey. “It was twelve eighty-two, to answer your question,” she said as she exhaled, handing over the drug to her manager.

 

Sebastian took the blunt from her, putting it to his lips. He handed her back eight dollars in all ones. “Tell them the eighty-two is on us. They’ll tip you better.” He took a long drag, pulling his phone from his pocket and handing her back the joint. She leaned down and kissed his cheek before waltzing off.

 

He let out his drag, and immediately inhaled a sharp breath of oxygen. He coughed once - twice, then opened his phone.

 

‘I don’t wanna talk about it’

 

Ciel’s text perplexed him, so simple, so dismissive. He had replied ten minutes ago, and Sebastian stared at the screen, unsure of how to reply. Just as he was about to start typing, his phone beeped again.

 

‘So wanna come to this stupid party?’

 

His heart fluttered. He’d known Ciel for a week, and yet he invited him to something so intimate? He didn’t understand, but he wouldn’t miss an opportunity to be around him. And yet, all his stupid mind could come up with to respond sounded either too excited or too standoffish.

 

‘I’d love to!’

 

Backspace.

 

‘I guess’

 

Backspace.

 

‘Sure.’

 

Send.

 

***

 

The stuffed bunny was called a Bitter Rabbit, and it had only cost him forty-eight dollars. He was elated, he still had money for later. Sebastian had asked the man at the store if they wrapped gifts, and they did! He had the rabbit put into a cream and lapis striped box, with a beautifully intricate bow placed on top. It was perfect. He was three blocks away from the address Ciel had given him, and he was - he stopped to pull his phone out of his pocket to look at the time - twenty-three minutes behind schedule. He’d have to run to the party if he didn’t want to be late, but at the same time… maybe being late would be a blessing?

 

He decided on a quick pace, unsure of what he would even say to the teenager when he handed him his gift. It was a big deal to Sebastian - he never gave gifts, never spent his money on anyone, but himself. Ciel was different, he had the world in his tiny hands, and Sebastian only wanted to give him more. The world wasn’t enough.

 

His phone began to ring in his hand, and without looking at the caller id, Sebastian pressed the answer button and pulled it to his face. “Hello?” he answered, expecting Ciel on the other end asking if he was still coming, as he’d already done the same thing twice today.

 

“Sebastian! Oh thank god!” yelled a female on the other end of the phone. His jaw instantly clenched and his teeth made an audible  _ clack _ to the woman. “Are you busy tonight?”

 

“Karen, there’s only one reason why you would be calling me on my night off,” he ground out through his teeth.

 

“I am so sorry, Sebastian, but Glenn called me about ten minutes ago that he’s got the flu and can’t make it in. Please, come in tonight. I’ll give you the overtime, I swear, I’m just so desperate right now,” Karen begged, her breath ragged like it was actually busy for a change.

 

“Fine. I’ll be there in about an hour. I need to go home and change,” Sebastian growled, ignoring her thanks as he began to walk in the direction of his apartment and ended the call.

 

***

 

Ciel picked at a loose thread on his overgrown sweatshirt, azure eyes on the phone screen in front of him. He’d been scrolling his tumblr, skipping past pictures of ‘thinspo’ and ‘ana tips’ and recipes. He hadn’t intended his birthday to be this… excruciatingly frustrating. His aunt had gone all out on decorations - everything in the color he hated most. Everyone here had to do with work, everyone except his best friend, Alois, who… also had to do with work?

 

Alois was a model, like Ciel, but they never worked together. They’d met at a fashion expo in New York in the summer of 2015. Alois lived in Los Angeles, Ciel lived in Chicago. They both had an eating disorder, but Alois wasn’t a fan of starving himself like Ciel was.

 

Ciel raised his eyes as the boy came out of the bathroom attached to his bedroom, wiping the side of his mouth with the back of his hand. “Man,” Alois said as he threw himself down onto Ciel’s bed and stretched out beside him. “I’ll tell you what, whoever your aunt catered for your birthday hella knows how to roast chicken and cook steak.” He rubbed his belly and let out a contented sigh.

 

Ciel rolled his eyes this time, rolling over onto his back as he continued to scroll tumblr, reblogging a few pictures of wider thigh-gaps than his own. “I’m glad you enjoyed it,” he said, turning to look at his best friend with a small smile. “We should probably go rejoin the party, though I  _ really _ don’t want to.”

 

Alois nodded. He rolled back off the bed and jumped onto his feet. Just as Ciel was about to get up with him, his cell phone began to ring. His favorite song by Sia played through the room.  _ Thick skin and an elastic heart _ . He looked down at the id, a wide grin spreading across his face. "Go on without me,” Ciel told the blonde, shooing him out of the room.

 

Alois tilted his head, surprised he was being kicked out without being explained to. “O...kay?” he replied. He walked out of the room, wondering who exactly his best friend was about to talk with. It was unheard of for Ciel to keep things from him, especially when those  _ things _ had a hella good song as their ringtone.

 

“Hey, Sebastian!” Ciel exclaimed as he answered the phone. He bounced back into his pillows, a smile clear in his voice.

 

“Hey,” Sebastian responded, his voice deep and full of regret. Ciel’s smile instantly disappeared; he hated his tone. “I just got called into work. I can’t make your party.”

 

“Oh,” he breathed, a lump catching in his throat. “I-It’s okay.” He cursed himself, his voice wavered which gave away his distaste.

 

“Ciel, I’m so sorry.”

 

“No, it’s fine,” he mumbled, “really. I understand.” He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, catching it between his teeth. “I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.” Before Sebastian could respond, he hung up. He dropped his phone and sat up, his hands coming up to rub his face. He shouldn’t have invited Sebastian, anyways, he knew that. It shouldn’t have been a big deal.

 

He joined Alois downstairs, and Angelina walked up to them with a giant grin on her face - oblivious to what had happened upstairs, whether it be Sebastian’s inability to make it or Alois expelling her hundred dollar meal from his body. She hadn’t even noticed Ciel’s plate had gone untouched. “It’s almost time for cake and presents!” she said in a sing-song voice. Ciel’s skin prickled.

 

“Cake?” he said warily, to which she just nodded. “I’m really still full from dinner.”

 

“You don’t have to eat it, if you’re not hungry.” Angelina pat his head twice, earning a glare from her nephew. “Alois, do you mind collecting everyone for the cake?”

 

“Sure, Angie,” he said with a wink, earning a wince from Ciel’s aunt.

 

“Don’t call me that.” Angelina walked toward the living room, and Ciel followed closely behind her with his fingers playing again at the loose thread on his sweatshirt.

 

As soon as he reached the door, he stopped dead in his tracks. A giant cake sat in the middle of the room - five layers of cake, with white and blue frosting drawing intricate patterns around the outer edges. His mouth dropped in shock and his mind instantly began screaming at him.  _ 16,500 calories for vanilla, 24,550 calories for chocolate 16,500 calories for vanilla, 24,550 calories for chocolate. 16,500 calories for vanilla, 24,550 calories for chocolate. 16,500 calories for vanilla, 24,550 calories for chocolate. 16,500 calories for vanilla, 24,550 calories for chocolate. 16,500 calories for vanilla, 24,550 calories for chocolate. 491 calories a slice of chocolate. 330 calories a slice of vanilla. _

 

He didn’t know what to do, just stood there with his head screaming. His mind instantly played pictures of the thinspo he’d just been scanning. Then his own body - thighs that touched, big puffs of fatty cells clinging to his stomach and arms and neck, his jawline filled out, three chins, calves so large his favorite boots no longer fitting him, spending twenty minutes to get a pair of jeans to button.

 

_ NO! DON’T EAT, DON’T EAT, DON’T EAT, DON’T EAT, DON’T EAT!!!!! _

 

His stomach lurched, his mouth went dry, his hands balled into fists. And his feet forced him to turn around and storm to the kitchen. He ripped a glass out of the cupboard and filled it to the brim with water. He threw it back faster than he ever had before, chugging it down. He refilled it twice before he returned to the living room. He plastered on a smile and looked directly at his aunt as people began to flood the room. “I love it!” he said.  _ I hate it. _ “It looks so delicious!”  _ It looks like a death threat. _

 

They sang Happy Birthday, and everyone got a piece of cake. Everyone except the birthday boy, who didn’t want to celebrate in the first place. Grell watched him, made sure he was sticking to a good diet despite his special day. Angelina socialized with a champagne glass in her hand. Alois gorged himself on three slices - and escaped to Ciel’s bedroom after every piece. And Ciel lounged by the window the entire time, thinking.

 

_ It’s not a good day without you here, Mother… Father… Brother… _

 

***

 

Sebastian sighed, blowing smoke out of his nose from a cigarette he’d been enjoying. A yawn fell from his lips. Work had been hell, but thankfully he was about to go home - early. He’d missed Ciel’s party, and the boy had been ignoring his texts all night. It was now two-thirty and he was sure the teen had gone to bed, but he couldn’t help texting him one more time.

 

His fingers pressed the keys sloppily, something that came from tiredness and the feeling of uneasiness he was currently experiencing.

 

‘I know you’re mad at me, but good night. Sweet dreams.’

 

He hit send, hands trembling. He pulled the cigarette from his mouth after taking another long drag. He rubbed his face with one hand, tossing the cigarette onto the ground and stomping it out with his shoe. He couldn’t believe this shit, his stupid fucking boss calling him in like this.

 

He walked back inside, shut and locked the manager’s office and waved to one of the cooks still in the building. Bard, Mey, and Finny weren’t working tonight - all four of them had the end of the week off together. It had started coincidentally, but after Sebastian and Mey had gotten their jobs at the diner, Finny and Bard had followed.

 

“I’m out,” he called to the cook. The woman - he couldn’t remember her name, Devin or Danielle, something with a D - nodded and he ducked his way out of the kitchen. He waved goodbye to the one server and clocked himself out. He walked around the bar and turned to his left to make his way out of the diner to begin his short trek back to his apartment.

 

“Sebastian!” His head snapped up, closing in on grey-blue hair in one corner of the room across from the bathrooms, in a secluded booth. A wide grin spread across Ciel’s face as their eyes locked, and it took everything in him to not stand up and rush to Sebastian’s side. It was the same for Sebastian, though.

 

“Ciel?” he said, clearly confused as he walked toward him. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I wanted coffee,” replied the teen as if it was normal for him to come to the Southside at almost three in the morning. This side of town was known for gun fights and drugs, and Ciel knew this. He smiled, and Sebastian’s breath caught in his throat.

 

“Happy late Birthday,” he said as he slid into the booth across from him. Ciel’s smile disappeared almost instantly, which made Sebastian remember their texts earlier. “Why don’t you like your birthday?”

 

Ciel drew in a breath. “It’s a long story,” he whispered, gaze lowering to the steaming cup of black liquid in front of him.  _ 2 calories per eight ounces _ .

 

Sebastian reached a hand across the table, pressed two fingers to Ciel’s chin and lifted his face until their eyes met. Ciel noted his eyes were the color he hated most - suddenly the color he loved with all his heart. “I’ve got time,” Sebastian assured him.

 

Ciel’s throat closed up and tears pricked at his eyes. His voice cracked with a sorrowful squeak. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr for some drabbles/talks about my new aus/etc @addictiontofiction13
> 
> Also feel free to follow my sebaciel tumblr @additiontosebaciel13


	4. Chapter 4

“It’s a long story,” Ciel whispered, his sapphire eyes glued on the mug of coffee in front of him. Sebastian longed to come across the table that separated them, but instead he lifted the boys chin with his hand and forced their eyes to lock.

 

“I’ve got time,” he replied, and a small smile twitched at the corners of his mouth. Tears began to well up in Ciel’s eyes, and Sebastian’s breath escaped him. The teenager was beautiful, even more so when he was crying, but the man never wanted to see him cry again.

 

Ciel took in a shaky breath, his shoulders heaving. “Okay,” he squeaked out, his voice cracking. “When I was younger, I didn’t live with my aunt like I do now… My parents were wonderful people, and I loved them with everything in me.” Ciel lowered his eyes again, circling the rim of his cup with a slender digit.

 

“What happened to them?” Sebastian was scared to ask, knowing it was something bad. Was it worse than his own mother’s death? He hoped it wasn’t, Ciel didn’t deserve something that intensely disturbing.

 

“I’d gone home directly after school that day - it was our birthday… And he’d insisted on going to his ballet class,” Ciel mumbled, the tears slowly falling down his face. His eyes were glazed over and while he was speaking, his mind was elsewhere. “Mom didn’t allow me to do ballet like him, I was always sick as a child. She told me she and dad would be going to pick him up…” His sentence trailed off, and he took a giant breath before continuing. “They…” He was shaking, and his breath was coming in pants, his cheeks flushed. “They were about to pull into the driveway. I remember hearing my dad’s car from down the street, and I got up onto the couch to watch as they pulled in, and it all happened so fast…” He shook his head, putting his face in his hands as he cried.

 

“What happened?” Sebastian whispered, his arms crossing against his chest and his eyes wide with anguish as Ciel raised his face to lock their eyes together. Ciel didn’t deserve this.

 

The teen took in a shuddering breath. “A drunk driver… There was ice all over the place, and I can remember the squealing of tires… My dad’s car was hit head on, and the bastard driver actually walked nearly unsca-” The words stopped and Ciel hiccupped a sob, one hand flying to his lips to stifle his cries.

 

Sebastian could see it in his head. The car crumpling with the speed and the weight of the other, three people dead on impact, one a child. And Ciel - this beautiful boy who deserved so much better than life had thrown at him - had seen everything, and he could picture him crying, sobbing like he was now. “I’m so sorry, Ciel…”

 

“It was snowing,” the teen recalled, meeting Sebastian’s gaze with his eyes red and puffy from the tears that wouldn’t stop. “If he had just come home with me, none of this would’ve happened.” His tone was sharp and accusatory.

 

“You had a brother,” was all Sebastian could say. Words were failing him. He didn’t know what he could do to make this Adonis before him stop crying, to make him know everything would be okay, that he’d protect him.

 

“He was my twin.” Ciel shifted in his seat, pulled one leg up to bump his knee to his chest. He laid his forehead on his knee, eyes squeezing shut as he continued to cry. “People used to say they couldn’t tell us apart.” He sighed.

 

“I doubt that’s true,” Sebastian found himself replying. “I’d be able to pick you from a crowd.” Ciel raised his face, tilting his head. His lips were pursed, swollen; his eyes had darkened from the beautiful shade of blue Sebastian had grown accustomed to, a certain fire behind them. “You’re one in a billion, Ciel.”

 

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” the teen responded, turning his face to gaze out the window. “It’s snowing.” His tone was monotone, glum. The snow reminded him of his parents, his lost brother.

 

“It’s beautiful,” Sebastian said, his eyes never wavering from high cheekbones and a sharp jawline.

 

“Maybe it is,” the teen found himself saying. Ciel turned back to him and smiled, puffy eyes crinkling. “Would you like to go for a walk?”

 

***

 

 _Ciel was glowing,_ thought Sebastian as he watched the teen’s feet kick at flakes of snow that stuck to the sidewalks. His nose was a light cherry pink, bitten by the cold, and his usually pale cheeks were a similar rose hue. Puffs of breath and carbon monoxide escaped his mouth in spiraling waves. He drew the cigarette up to his lips, coughed a little when he took it away again and exhaled. He hadn’t looked like a smoker, but Sebastian wasn’t one to question him when he’d asked to borrow one. “What are your parents like?” Ciel asked as he spun around to face him.

 

They had stopped in front of an old, worn down building that probably housed at least a dozen homeless people. The moon was catching Ciel’s hair in such a way it took Sebastian’s breath away, and despite the depressing question - that sliced a knife through his heart - he smiled. “They're dead,” he responded, his eyes sad and his bleeding heart clenching.

 

Ciel gasped, head rolling forward. His slate-colored hair, shining in the pale light of the night, fell in front of his eyes to hide his expression. “I'm sorry,” he whispered. He peeked up through insanely long eyelashes, azure meeting wine.

 

“Don’t be,” he replied, leaning down to clearly see the stunning blue of his eyes. “It happened about ten years ago. I’ve moved on.”

 

“Ten years ago. That actually reminds me.” Ciel stood up straight, their faces closer than they ever had been before. It took everything in Sebastian to not slink back in surprise, feeling Ciel’s hot breath puff onto his cheeks. “How old are you, Sebastian?”

 

He cringed, finally moving away from the teenager. “I’ll be twenty-eight next month.” He ran a hand through his pitch hair, eyes on the sky that dropped white flecks of cold onto his cheeks, whereupon Ciel’s breath had just been.

 

Ciel surprised him. “Cool,” was all he said, and their eyes met again. Ciel was wearing a smile, as if age didn’t matter to him. Age was just a number. It filled Sebastian with relief, a thousand ton weight lifted off his shoulders. Ciel extended a hand toward Sebastian with that same, beautiful smile plastered on his face. “Come on.”

 

Sebastian placed his hand in Ciel’s, interlacing their fingers together.

 

Maybe age really didn’t matter.

 

***

 

“So this is your apartment complex?” Ciel asked, eyeing the structure with quiet concern. “It’s… wonderful.” He smiled at Sebastian, his distaste clear on his features.

 

Sebastian chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s really not as bad as it looks. Really cheap is all. I’m sure it’s shit compared to your mansion.” The comment made Ciel’s cheeks and ears turn red with embarrassment instead of cold.

 

He squeezed Sebastian’s fingers and the older man escorted him up two flights of stairs. They stopped in front of a door colored an ugly shade of green, worn down with flecks of color missing to reveal a white undertone. A large P4 was marked in gold to indicate which apartment it was. Sebastian pulled a key from his pocket, unlocked the door, and let it swing open. “Ladies first,” he joked, earning a glare from the teen.

 

Ciel released their hands, pushed past him into the room. Sebastian flipped a switch, making the room flood with light. The first thing that Ciel noticed about Sebastian’s apartment was that it was clean, you could literally eat off the floor. There wasn’t a speck of dirt in sight. A book laid lazily on the arm of the torn, faded blue sofa - the book, itself, looked tired and well-loved. There was a television on the opposite side of the room, an outdated television at that. Ciel hadn’t seen one of those since he was a child.

 

Ciel walked further into the house, eyes scanning the area. He took note of the kitchen table, visible from the entrance to the kitchen. A short hallway led off to the right. Two doors were on opposite sides of the hallway, one open and one shut. The open one led to a bathroom, and Ciel peeked inside. It was boring, but he took note that Sebastian liked to use Old Spice - one of his least favorites, but Sebastian smelled so  _ good _ .

 

“Is this your bedroom?” he called over his shoulder to Sebastian, who had walked into the kitchen.

 

“Yeah. Feel free to go in. Do you want a snack?” replied the man’s disembodied voice.

 

Ciel turned the knob to the older’s bedroom, slowly pushing the door open. “No, thanks!”

 

He flipped the light on, chuckling to himself as he took in the scene. This room wasn’t clean at all. Dirty clothes flooded the floor, the bed unmade, but what caught his attention was a sapphire and cream wrapped box, about the size of his head, with a bow to match sitting on the bed.

 

He walked toward it, reaching out to caress the bow slowly. He recognized the design, one from a toy shop not far from his house. It was on his route to the same Starbucks they’d met at.

 

“I see you found your birthday present,” Sebastian said from behind him, making the teen jump and spin around.

 

“My birthday present?” Ciel asked in confusion, looking back at the box. “You really didn’t have to get me anything.”  _ In fact _ , he thought,  _ I’d rather no one did. _

 

Sebastian strode toward him, plucking the box from the bed and thrusting it into his hands. The man’s cheeks were tinting darker by the second, and that same smile - that embarrassed smile, the smile that Ciel loved - played on his lips. “I did have to,” was all he could think of to say.

 

Ciel looked down at the box and pulled the top off, gasping when he saw the stuffed rabbit inside. The store had been showcasing these for months, but he’d never actually stopped to get one. Rabbits were his favorite animal, he’d told Sebastian this the day they’d met. “You remembered my favorite animal?” he asked, pulling the thing out. It’s fur was the color of ash, and it had a black eyepatch over it’s right eye. “Sebastian, I love it.” He hugged the rabbit close to his chest, a smile on his lips.

 

Their eyes met, and Sebastian grinned. A true grin. A happy grin. “I’m glad you like it.”

 

Ciel knew he was talking about the rabbit, he really did, but instead… all he could think was,  _ I’m glad I like you. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks for my wonderful betas, as always!
> 
> Please spam that kudos button and let me know what your favorite scene was.
> 
> Feel free to bother me on tumblr at addictiontofiction13.tumblr.com


	5. Chapter 5

Christmas wasn’t the same as it used to be. Ciel could vividly remember being woken by his brother every year, too early in the morning. They didn’t believe in Santa Claus anymore, but they still woke up early. They’d run into their parents room, jump on the bed. Mom would groan and roll over, mumble something about sleeping in. Dad would bounce right up, pick up Ciel and then nudge their mother.

 

_ “Come on, honey, the boys are excited. It’s Christmas, after all!”  _ he remembered his father saying.

 

_ “Vincent, it’s six in the morning. The boys can wait.” _ And Vincent would laugh, stand up with Ciel cradled in one arm, and open his other for his brother. They’d all run downstairs, and make breakfast - forgetting the presents under the tree. And Rachel would come down later, as they were just finishing up. They made homemade biscuits and gravy every year, as it was Rachel’s favorite.

 

And that’s exactly how Ciel was woken up this year. Angelina jumped onto his bed, a wide grin across her lips. “Good morning, Ciel!” she squealed, shaking one of his shoulders. “It’s Christmas! Time to wake up! I made breakfast!”

 

Ciel opened his eyes, blinking the sleep away. He sat up slightly, groaning. “It’s too early,” he mumbled, eyeing the clock on the table beside his bed. It read six twenty-three.

 

“You’ve got presents and biscuits and gravy, now come on. Up you go!” Angelina bounced off the mattress, grabbing her nephew’s hand and pulling him straight out of bed.

 

Ciel went unwillingly, one hand balled up into a fist to rub at one eye sleepily. They walked downstairs, to the kitchen, and Ciel went immediately to the fridge. He opened the freezer and pulled out a bag of coffee grounds. He usually kept his favorite dark roast from Starbucks in a bag for days like today when the business was closed. He scooped out two, measured tablespoons and threw it into the coffee maker.

 

“How many biscuits would you like?” Angelina asked as she piled three onto a plate for herself.

 

He turned to her, leaning up against the counter in front of the coffee machine. “One, please,” he said, a small smile on his face.  _ 104 per biscuit, no gravy as it’s way too many calories.  _ He shuddered, didn’t even want to think about it.  _ So adding on 5 calories for my twenty ounces of coffee - black, I’ll be at 109 calories for the day. Perfect. _ He nodded to himself. He would be full all day.

 

Angelina handed him a plate with a single biscuit on it. “Grell’s Christmas present for you arrived this morning. We’ll have to pay someone to put it together, but I’m sure you’ll love it.” She had moved around the counter to sit at the barstool at the kitchen island, pulling a cup of milk to her lips.

 

“What did he get me?” he seethed, turning back to the coffee maker and rolling his eyes where she couldn’t see.

 

“I’ll let you see that for yourself,” she laughed, “but there was a note.” She slid a piece of paper across the island, and Ciel moved around the counter to grab at it before returning to his coffee.

 

_ Ciel,  _ read the note _ , I hope this treadmill helps with your workouts. You’ve told me you don’t like to run when it’s snowing. Stay warm! - Grell Sutcliff _

 

He stared at the words in disgust, and balled the paper in his fist. He tossed it behind his shoulder, hearing it land on the island. “Tell him I said thank you,” he said curtly, reaching up for the cupboards and pulling a large mug from them. He poured himself a cup of coffee, turning back to Angelina and giving her a small, tight smile.

 

“I’m sure he had good intentions, honey,” she replied, her copper eyes wide with confusion. He ignored her, grabbing his plate and walking out of the room.

 

“I’ll be upstairs,” he called over his shoulder.

 

“Ciel, wait!” she yelled after him. “Don’t go sulk in your room, it’s Christmas!”

 

He stomped up the stairs and straight into his room, tossing the plate on a dresser to be forgotten.  _ Fuck Christmas _ , he thought with a growl. He’d starve, biscuits, gravy, and traditions be damned. Eating biscuits and and his mom’s homemade gravy wouldn’t bring his parents back, wouldn’t make his brother magically appear at his side.

 

He pulled a box out from under his bed, opening it up and pulling paints, oils and brushes out to set on to the mattress. A canvas was near the window, stark white and empty, waiting to be loved. He splattered black on it, damaging it in a blind fury - throwing his hatred and loss on the page.

 

***

 

Sebastian awoke the same as he’d fallen asleep. His bedside lamp was still on, and his favorite book was beside him - pages dog-eared and yellow with age. His blankets had been thrown to the ground, a thin sheet still clung slightly to his frozen feet. He sat up lazily, and ran a hand through his hair as a yawn escaped his lips. He shut off the light, placed the book on the table beside it, and threw his legs over the edge of the bed.

 

He found a sweatshirt on the ground, sniffed it twice, and decided it was wearable. He walked out to the hallway, looking at the thermostat with narrowed eyes. It read twenty-seven degrees, and he groaned. “Fuck!”

 

He ran back into the bedroom, pulling on his sneakers and swiping up his wallet and keys. As soon as he made it out of the apartment, he noticed Mey and Bard were one floor down, sitting on the edge of the landing, smoking cigarettes and bundled up to stay warm. “Morning!” he called down to them.

 

“Mornin’!” Bard said back, leaning further over the edge to smile up at him. “Your heat off, too?” he asked.

 

“Yeah,” Sebastian responded. “Did you guys pay? I didn’t.”

 

Mey sighed. “Yeah, we did. Tanaka sure is an asshole for turning ours off.” She tossed her cigarette on to the ground, magenta eyes watching it sizzle and go out in the snow below them. “I mean it’s Christmas, for fuck’s sake. Man’s got some sense of humor.”

 

Sebastian ran down the stairs, to the first floor, and banged on the office door. “Tanaka! It’s Sebastian!” he yelled at the door, knowing full well the old man would be in his apartment.

 

After two more rough bangs, the door slowly came open. The old, Japanese man stood at the entrance at his full height, a few inches shorter than Sebastian. “Sebastian, always a pleasure. What can I help you with?” he asked.

 

“A pleasure?” he scoffed. “Turn our heat back on, at least Mey’s, she paid this month,” Sebastian said flatly.

 

“Listen, kid, everyone’s heat has been turned off, not just you two. Too many people this month didn’t pay, including you, so the entire complex is off. It’s out of my hands.” Tanaka bowed his head and closed the door before Sebastian could say something he would regret.

 

Sebastian’s eyes blazed scarlet and he turned his chin up to lock eyes with his co-workers. Finny had joined them from his own apartment, right beside Mey and Bard’s. They all three looked at him with narrowed eyes, having heard exactly what had gone down.

 

“Bastard!” Bard suddenly shouted.

 

Finny was the next to call down to him. “He’s out of his mind!”

 

“I say we shoot him!” Mey laughed, and Sebastian laughed, too.

 

He joined them up on the landing, taking a cigarette Mey offered him. He lit it, inhaling deep and releasing the smoke through his nose. “Not like we had anywhere to go today, right, guys? Christmas is still on.”

 

“Yes! I’ve got presents!” Finny said happily. “Bard, yours is last.”

 

Bard whined. “That’s fuckin’ rude. I went last last year. Make ‘im go last,” he said, referring to Sebastian.

 

Mey nudged Sebastian’s arm. “Is Ciel coming?” she asked, and they all three instantly had their eyes on him.

 

“No, I haven’t really seen him since his birthday.” Sebastian’s face fell and he wrapped his arms around his chest for warmth. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and clicked on the Instagram icon.

 

A new picture had actually been posted by Ciel that morning, several hours earlier. It was a picture of him grinning wide, one arm wrapped around the Bitter Rabbit Sebastian had bought him, and his other hand giving a peace sign.

 

_ #MerryXmas from me and my favorite bunny! #LifeOfPhantomhive _

 

The last picture before that had been of Ciel and another model - a blonde with blue eyes, their arms around each others necks and champagne flutes in their hands. It had been posted on his birthday.

 

_ @prettyboi_trancy wishing me a HBD bitches! #sweetsixteen #LifeOfPhantomhive _

 

Sebastian couldn’t help smiling at the pictures. Ciel was breathtaking, even in photography. It was his job, sure, but he’d seen his modeling pictures on Google, and he had to admit his favorites were those adorable selfies he shared with Instagram. They were different, less serene, more  _ Ciel _ .

 

“Earth to Sebastian,” Bard said, slapping the man’s shoulder. “You comin’ inside?”

 

Sebastian looked up from his phone, garnet eyes wide. “What? Oh, yeah, I’ll be in in a few,” he said, taking another drag of his cigarette. As soon as the three had left him for Finny’s apartment, he swiped away the app and called Ciel. He raised the phone to his ear, waiting patiently for the boy to answer.

 

“Hey, you’ve reached Ciel Phantomhive. Leave a message!” the teen’s bubbly voice said into the receiver.

 

Sebastian’s face fell, but he shrugged. He knew Ciel was probably busy today. “Hey, Ciel, it’s Sebastian. Wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas.” He lowered the phone and hit end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my wonderful betas for getting this finished as quickly as it was!
> 
> Follow me on tumblr and bug me about my fics, okay? I love you guys <3
> 
> Also if you don't mind, give me a kudos and a comment! Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you continue to enjoy reading as much as I'm enjoying writing!


	6. Chapter 6

“Happy New Year!” shouted the entirety of the diner, making Sebastian jump. Was it midnight already? He checked his phone, and sure enough, it read twelve AM, January first, two thousand eighteen. He put the cell down on the desk in front of him, and ran his hands through his hair.

 

‘Happy New Years, Sebastian :*’ Ciel had sent him twenty minutes ago.

 

He’d posted a picture on Instagram around the same time. Blowing a kiss to the camera, one eye closed in a wink, in front of the ball at Times Square. Ciel had money to travel at random, whereas Sebastian was stuck working the holiday.

 

_ Happy New Years! #TimeSquaresTheBomb #LifeOfPhantomhive _

 

He swiped his phone off the desk and walked out to the kitchen. Bard was handing a plate to Finny as he arrived. “Happy New Year,” Bard said, holding a lit cigarette in between his lips.

 

“Yeah, Happy New Year, man,” Sebastian responded with a small smile. He eyed a slip of paper, indicating a new order being placed. “What do you still need?”

 

“Two eggs, sunny side,” Bard replied, tossing a bowl of onion rings and french fries into the window. “Finny!” he shouted.

 

Sebastian cracked two eggs onto the stove with Bard at his back. “Should I text Ciel back?” he asked the blonde offhandedly.

 

“Why wouldn’t you? Kid’s a piece. I'd've tapped that by now,” was Bard’s response, and Sebastian shot him a glare. “What? Just sayin. ‘e’s fine, and I don’t even swing that way.”

 

Mey appeared in the window. “What are we talking about?” she asked, smiling at Sebastian.

 

“‘ow much I love ya,” Bard said, giving her a kissy face.

 

Mey rolled her eyes at him, putting her hands on her hips. “So Ciel?” she responded, nodding her head.

 

Bard crumpled one of their old order papers and threw it at her. It smacked her in the forehead. “Why don’t you believe me when I say we’re talkin’ about you?”

 

“Because you never talk about me, you fuck!” she replied, crossing her arms across her chest.

 

“But I could!”

 

“But you don’t!”

 

Sebastian blushed, having practically started this fight between the two of them. He slid the eggs onto a saucer with two slices of bacon and two pieces of white toast, handing it up to the window. Mey snatched it out of his hand, her cheeks turning a dark red with anger. Bard glared after her as she turned on her heel and stormed off.

 

“Bitch,” he growled. “She doesn’t deserve a damn ring when she gets like this.”

 

Sebastian’s eyes widened and he looked over to see the blonde fuming. “Don’t talk like that. You know you love her.” He patted the man on the shoulder.

 

“Yeah, you’re right. Kinda shit that we were all workin’ tonight. I actually ‘ad somethin’ planned for once.” Bard chuckled, reaching deep into his pocket. He pulled out a velvet box and opened it for Sebastian to see. Inside was a small engagement band with three square diamonds framing the top. “Think she’ll like it?”

 

Sebastian gasped at the sight of the ring, his eyes instantly darting up to Bard’s face. “You’ll never know unless you go out there and propose to her, dude,” he said, grabbing the cook’s arm and pushing him toward the kitchen door.

 

“Right now?!” Bard shouted, shaking his head back and forth. “No way! I’m not ready! What the fuck would I even say?”

 

“Speak from your heart, shithead!” Sebastian shoved him out the door, following him closely behind. He watched as Bard stepped out from behind the bar, walking into the middle of the room to stand between two tables. He cleared his throat just as Sebastian leaned against the bar and Finny joined by his side.

 

“What’s going on?” asked the small boy, looking up at Sebastian expectantly.

 

“Just watch,” was all the male responded.

 

Bard turned back to make eye contact with Sebastian, who flicked his hand at him as if to say, “Go on. You can do it.” He turned, looking at Mey’s back and cleared his throat once more. “Attention, everyone!” he shouted, and almost everyone in the entire diner - which really wasn’t much, probably around twenty to thirty people - turned to face him, including Mey. She held a confused expression, her mouth open slightly.

 

“What are you doing?” she asked.

 

"So… uh… Mey, I uhm…hey,” His cheeks were pinking up, and he looked down at his shoes to dig one into the linoleum of the floor. “Listen, I fuckin’ love your tits, okay? And your ass is like, uh… I can bounce a quarter off your ass, babe.” He looked up to meet her eyes, seeing her face just as dark as it had been when she’d stormed off earlier. She was getting angry. “Our sex life is fuckin’ fantastic, I mean the shit you do to me that I never thought about before we met, like, damn.” He scratched at the back of his scalp with an embarrassed laugh. “Okay, but what I’m tryin’ to say right now is that I love you, Mey. Like, yeah, sure, we fight constantly, and I don’t talk about you as much as I should, but uh… Oh, fuck it.” He yanked the box out again, thrusting it toward her. “Will you just fuckin’ marry me? Please?”

 

Sebastian facepalmed. Mey was staring at him with the blankest expression, her mouth hung open. They stood there staring at each other, Mey’s eyes empty and her face beet red, Bard’s face going paler by the minute. The tension in the air was palpable and everyone began to shift in their seats uncomfortably. She was going to reject him.

 

Finally, she took a deep breath, looked down at her shoes. “Okay,” she said, raising her eyes and letting a small smile grace her lips.

 

“Okay?” Bard replied, dumbfounded. He grinned. “Okay! Cool!” He walked toward her, removed the ring and slid it on her finger. He then turned to walk away, only for Mey to grab the back of his shirt.

 

“No, you stay right here, you piece of fucking shit.” Mey smiled, then let go of his shirt. She turned back to her table and picked up the plates she had been taking when he’d stopped her. She walked off with them, disappearing into the kitchen for a few seconds. Sebastian watched her move, noting she was taking her time more than usual, and Bard stared at him in complete confusion. She burst back into the room, taking deliberate strides toward Bard. She stood in front of him for a few seconds, and he gave her a sheepish grin.

 

“Hey,” he said.

 

“Hey,” she responded. She then raised a hand and slapped him clear across the face. The loud  _ smack _ rang throughout the entire diner and everyone turned back to them, shocked. “You’re such a stupid fuck, you know that?”

 

Bard turned his head back to her, grabbed both her shoulders and kissed her suddenly. It was passionate, and the diner roared with applause. Sebastian had to turn away, his own cheeks going pink at the scene playing out in front of him. When they finally pulled apart, Mey grabbed Bard by the collar of his shirt and dragged him straight to the back of the restaurant. Sebastian and Finny ran after them. “We’ll be a bit,” Bard shouted at them as he was shoved into the office.

 

“Clean up your mess!” Sebastian yelled back as the door shut.

 

***

 

Ciel rubbed at his eye as he grabbed his luggage from the bin. It was eight-twenty-seven in the morning, and he’d just suffered a three hour flight from New York City back to Chicago. He loved visiting New York, but the trek home was his worst nightmare. He hated planes more than anything else in the world.

 

As he rounded the corner from the baggage area, he saw his name written on a giant sign. Holding the paper was his best friend, Alois, and they both grinned when they saw each other. “Ciel!” Alois screamed, letting go of the sign with one hand and waving.

 

Ciel sprinted toward him, the giant smile still on his face. “What are you doing here?” he panted as he reached him. They embraced, and Alois laughed.

 

“I’m in town for a week. Just got done with  _ Vogue Magazine _ shoot and wanted to surprise you,” he said, still smiling wide. “So I’m your new roomie, my guy!”

 

Ciel rolled his eyes. “Bet.”

 

Alois held up a venti cup from Starbucks. “Aaaaand I brought you a present. Happy New Year!”

 

He grinned again, taking the coffee. “Oh my god, thank you so fucking much. The flight was terrible.” He took a long swig, leaning his head back with a moan of approval. “Yes! Just what I wanted!”

 

“Come on,” said Alois as he grabbed Ciel’s carry-on from his shoulder. “I brought my new car. Drove it all the way from L.A.”

 

“Alone?” he asked as they began walking toward the exit.

 

"Hell no. You think I drive myself? I’m fifteen.” Alois wrapped an arm over Ciel’s shoulders, throwing his head back in laughter.

 

“Then why the fuck would you waste your money on a car?” Ciel gave him a sideways glance, bringing the coffee up to his lips again.

 

“What else am I going to spend it on? College? Food? I’m a model, Ciel, it’s all wasted money.” He turned his head to stare at his best friend as they continued to walk. “Speaking of food, I found the  _ best _ pizza place this morning while I was waiting for your flight. Like holy shit, dude. You gotta try it.”

 

Ciel shook his head. “Can’t. 300 calories today.” He smiled. “Down three pounds since yesterday. Hella excited.”

 

“Bruh, can’t you just move on to throwing up? It’s  _ so _ much better. You get to taste everything!” Alois pouted. “I can teach you. It’s really easy.”

 

The slate-haired teen shook his head again. “I’ve said no so many times. Why do you always ask?”

 

Alois dropped his arm from Ciel’s shoulders. “Because you don’t know what you’re missing! Dude, pizza and donuts and that cake your aunt had made for your birthday. You missed the  _ cake _ , dude.  _ The fucking cake _ .”

 

Ciel burst out in laughter. “Who cares?”

  
_ Food. Is. Fat. _ Ciel didn’t do ‘fat.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not gonna lie, all my betas and I cringed at Bard's proposal, so I hope you guys enjoyed it. Smash that kudos button for me and tell me what you liked?
> 
> Bug me on tumblr @ addictiontofiction13.tumblr.com


	7. Chapter 7

Ciel moved the paintbrush slowly over the canvas, the red hue - almost blood in it’s color - shaping the moving iris on the page. Alois hovered over his shoulder, mouth open in awe. “Dude, this is seriously sick,” he whispered as Ciel dipped the brush back into the red paint. “You should post this on your tumblr.”

Ciel shook his head, watching the eyes with quiet concentration as he tried his hardest to remember how they had gleamed in the fluorescent lighting. He added just a tad more blood before dropping the brush into a cup of water beside his canvas. “No, this one is just for me,” he replied, grabbing another, smaller brush to dip into the black. He began to add the delicate eyelashes piece by piece.

“If you don’t, I will. Everyone needs to see this one. It’s your best yet.” Alois swiped Ciel’s phone off the bed and opened the camera. “Now face me and smile for a second. I’ll at least post it on your Insta.”

Ciel dropped the paint palette and brush he’d been holding, turning to Alois abruptly and grabbing for his phone. “No! You can’t do that!” he shouted, whining as the taller teen held the cell above his head and out of Ciel’s reach. Just as Ciel was about to reach it, his text tone went off. 

“Oooh, who’s texting you?” Alois brought the phone down just enough so he could read it, still out of Ciel’s reach. “Who’s Sebastian?”

“No one!” he said hastily, jumping to snatch the phone straight out of Alois’ hand. He turned around and shoved his phone into his pocket without even looking at the text. His face was bright red and the hairs on the back of his neck were standing up. He reached back down to grab the palette and brush he’d dropped.

“Ciel,” Alois said, raising a single, well-groomed eyebrow, “you’re not  _ hiding _ anything from me, are you?” He walked forward a bit, leaning at his waist to get the top half of his body to be at Ciel’s side. He peered up at his best friend with suspicious, icy blue eyes. “Because as your best friend, that would be so fucking rude. Hashtag R-O-O-D, rude,” he spelled out.

“Of course not,” Ciel replied, waving a hand over to Alois, but his eyes were glued to the painting in front of him. He sucked his lower lip into his mouth, worrying it with his teeth. He dipped the brush into the black again and drew a nose into the canvas.

Alois’ eyes darted back and forth between the painting and his friend’s face. “Oh my god, you have a fucking crush, don’t you?”

“What?!” Ciel squeaked, nearly dropping the brush again and his cheeks flaming with blush. “What the hell gave you that idea?” He shot his eyes over to Alois, who was now smirking. The blonde stood up straight and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Okay, fine. I can deal. I wanna meet him.”

Ciel shook his head. “Nope. Not happening.” He slowly drew the curve of lips underneath the nose. The smile was crooked, embarrassed, his favorite. He leaned closer to the canvas, blowing on it gently.

"Well, if you don’t have a crush, then I guess you won’t have a problem with posting this on tumblr or instagram,” Alois said in a snarky tone.

“Okay, fine! I’ll post it later!” Ciel groaned. “But he works tonight. I don’t want to bother him.” He looked back at the clock on his bedside table. It read twelve-fifty-three. He didn’t even realize it was past midnight already, and yet here he was still painting. “He’s at work now.”

“And he’s texting you?” he asked, raising his eyebrow once again. “Doesn’t sound like he’s too busy.”

Ciel whined and pulled his phone out of his pocket, opening the text.

‘We should get together for coffee tomorrow.’

_ Well, fuck _ , he thought.  _ Why  _ **_not_ ** _ now?  _ It was January fourth, Alois had been with him for three days, and Ciel hadn’t seen Sebastian since his birthday. It’d be nice to see him again. Really,  _ really _ nice.

“Okay, fine. We can go, but we have to be smart about this. Your driver is asleep, and I don’t have my license.” Ciel put his phone back into his pocket, looking at Alois expectantly.

“How far away is his work?” Alois tilted his head, eyebrows pulling together. He put a finger to his lips, tapping in thought.

“Southside…” Ciel muttered, cheeks darkening again. He peeked up at Alois through his lashes, seeing his best friend’s own eyes widen.

“No way. Dude, I’ve heard stories about Southside Chicago at night. No fucking way. I’m not dying just to get a peek at ass.”

Ciel slapped his arm. “You’re not looking at his ass,” he replied. “We can take The L, it’ll be fine. There’s a station two blocks away from the diner.”

“You’ve done this before, haven’t you?” Alois said, pursing his lips. “I’m not sure how to feel about that.”

Ciel rolled his eyes. He set the brush down and strolled across the room to his walk-in closet. He tore off his paint shirt - a ratty old thing he’d had for years, too big and covered in different shades of all colors. He sifted through his designer clothes. “What should I wear?” he called back to the other teenager.

“You  _ do _ like him!” Alois shouted as he joined him in the closet. He began to look through the clothes,  _ tsk _ ing every few items. “Are you going for hot? I can totally make you look hot.”

“I don’t know what I want to look like,” he said. “And by the way, even if I  _ do _ like him, we’re just friends. Nothing more.” He grabbed at one of his favorite sweaters, a black knit one that ended just shy of his thigh gap. He vividly remembered his chest being on fire while wearing this shirt, and beautiful garnet eyes peering at him in shock. He leaned closer to it, sniffing slightly. Even after several washes, it still smelled of coffee.

“I like that one,” Alois said, nodding at the garment in Ciel’s hand. “Maybe with some galaxy leggings and your black boots?”

“I wore this the day we met. He ran into me on the street and spilled my coffee all over it,” Ciel responded, laughing quietly to himself. He pulled the sweater off it’s hanger and pulled it over his head, the three-quarter sleeves hanging loosely off his arms. “My galaxy leggings are in the dresser back in the bedroom. Top shelf.” He got down on his knees to look at the shoe cubbies he had under all his clothes as Alois ran back into the bedroom to grab the pants.

He sifted through his shoes, pulling out three pairs of boots - all black. One pair was faux leather and stopped halfway up his calves, one pair was made out of cotton - something for cold days, but not snowy grounds like tonight, and the last was the same boots he’d worn that day. They were what he considered to be edgy, with buckles framing the outsides of each boot. They were eccentric, stylish, and his very favorite.

“Oooh, do those,” Alois said as he came back into the closet, pointing at Ciel’s favorite pair. He tossed the older teen the leggings he’d left for, then put a finger to his lips again. “Your outfit is still missing something, though…”

Ciel stood up and ripped his shorts down his legs, grabbing the leggings off the floor. He slowly pulled them on, watching as his best friend thought for a good minute or two. He sat back down on the ground and pulled each of his boots on, making sure each buckle was done perfectly. “Are you gonna wear that?” he asked, motioning to Alois’ outfit.

He was in tight, dark blue pajama pants and a long sleeve sweater that matched. The dark color contrasted well against his pale skin and light yellow hair. “Yeah, I’m not trying to impress,” he said with a smile. “Where do you keep your hats?"

Ciel pointed to the door to his closet and Alois spun around, shutting the door just enough to look at all the hats decorating the back of it. He plucked two off the pegs, eyeing them with question. “Which one do you like more?” Ciel asked as he stood back up.

Alois had been debating between a fedora - Ciel hated those things, and it was his only one - and a solid charcoal colored female berett, one he’d picked up in New York when he’d met Alois three years ago. Ciel snatched the berett from his hands and placed it onto his head, his bangs hanging out of the hat and falling into his right eye. “How’s this?” he said, looking at Alois expectantly.

“Perfect,” he replied with a grin. “Now how do we escape?”

Ciel threw his head back in a deep laugh. “We don’t escape. My house isn’t a prision. We can just walk out the front door.” He left his closet with Alois close behind him. He snatched up his black gloves off the dresser before exiting his room, flicking off the light to leave the illusion they had gone to bed.

Alois practically bounded down the stairs, now ahead of Ciel. They reached the front door and Ciel put a finger to his lips to indicate they should be quiet. The blonde nodded, unlocking the door and slipping outside into the crisp, cold air. Once the door was closed behind Ciel, Alois shivered. “It’s fucking cold,” he whined, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Shut up!” Ciel hissed, clutching his phone case with one hand. He flipped it open, looking at the time. It was now one-forty-five and they had about fifteen minutes to make the train. “We gotta hurry.” He ignored the notification from Instagram, saying Alois had tagged him in a picture.

Alois nodded and grabbed Ciel’s hand. They began to sprint down the street, hand in hand. Ciel let out a laugh as he tried to keep up with the blonde’s long strides, his chest on fire in such a good way. The chilly air was burning his lungs, and puffs of air flew out of his mouth in bursts. Alois laughed with him, and they reached the station with five minutes to spare before the two am train left without them.

The train ride was uneventful in Ciel’s opinion, but Alois stared out the window in awe of Chicago in the dead of winter. “It’s so pretty,” he told his best friend, looking back at Ciel with a wide grin on his pretty face.

“It’s not L.A.,” Ciel responded with a smile of his own.

“Exactly. You have no idea how many times I’ve snuck out of the house in L.A. My parents don’t care at all.” Ciel’s face fell and he turned his head away from his best friend. Alois’ own smile disappeared and he realized his mistake. “Oh, I’m sorry, I forget…”

“It’s okay,” Ciel said with a shrug. “Not everyone is an orphan, right?”

They spent the rest of the ride in silence, and Ciel trudged off the train as soon as it came to a stop. Alois followed behind him with his eyes on the snowy pavement that  _ crunched _ under their feet. “Ciel, I’m sorry,” Alois tried again, and the shorter teen turned around to give him a smile.

“It’s okay, really. You don’t have to apologize, Alois.” Ciel held open his arms and the blonde instantly hugged him hard. They stood like that, in each other’s arms for a few minutes before the smaller of the two pulled back to give Alois a reassuring grin.

The blonde sniffled a little bit before nodding and they walked to the diner holding hands in a comfortable silence. Alois was the first through the door, the bell chirping to alert the servers of their arrival.

“Hello!” shouted a server as Ciel entered. He walked toward the door, still looking back to the bar. When he finally turned to face them, a beaming smile spread across his face. “Ciel Phantomhive?”

Ciel looked up at the blonde server, eyes wide. “Uh.. Yeah?” he replied.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you!” said the waiter, dropping the menus he held in his arm as he jumped forward to embrace Ciel tightly. The teenager gasped as the wind was squeezed out of him, and he pat at the blonde’s back.  _ Strong _ , his brain muffled out.

“Sorry, but who are you?” he gasped out as the boy let go of him.

“I’m Finny! Sebastian’s told us all about you.” Finny moved his bright blue eyes over to Alois and gasped. “And you’re Alois Trancy!” He shoved his hand in Alois’ direction, grabbing his hand forcefully and shaking - hard. Alois winced in pain several times before Finny pulled away. “Do you guys need a table for two?” he asked as he clumsily picked the menus back off the floor.

Ciel nodded as Alois looked at his fingers in surprise. “Booth,” the slate-haired teen said, pointing at the same booth in the corner he’d sat at on his birthday. “Mind if we sit there?”

Finny nodded and turned on his heels to escort them to the booth of Ciel’s choosing. “Mey is in this section tonight,” he said as he set the menus onto the table and smiled back at them. “I’ll go let her know you’re here.”

Ciel sat on the side closest to the back wall, the same side as last time, and watched as Alois flung himself into the other side and flipped open the menu in front of him. “Damn,” said the blonde, “all of this looks delicious.” He raised his turquoise eyes up and slid them over to the teen in front of him. “Let me guess, you’ve never tried the food, have you?”

Ciel instantly shook his head as he dragged one leg up onto the comfortable cushioning to press to his chest. He rested his chin on his knee. “Why would I?” he asked. “I’m sure there’s more calories in half a meal here than I allow myself in a day.”

Alois rolled his eyes and leaned back into the chair, looking around and smirking. “Dude, they put us right next to the bathrooms. Did you do that on purpose?”

Ciel shook his head again. “This is where I sat last time I was here,” he replied, turning to gaze out the window.

Alois nodded and clicked his tongue on his teeth as he turned his eyes back to the menu.

“Hi! I’m Mey, I’ll be your server tonight!” said a gorgeous waitress as she bounced up to their table. Ciel turned to look at her, and he - a gay boy - gaped at her beauty. “What can I get you guys to drink?”

“Coffee for me, please,” Ciel said with a small smile in her direction. She faltered, cheeks tinting a bit red, then turned to Alois.

“What do you guys have?” he asked, looking up to give her a genuine, panty-drenching smile.

Mey turned even darker than before, and she looked down at her hands - Ciel took notice of the simple diamond ring on her left hand.  _ Is that from him? _ he wondered, but instantly shook the thought from his head. “We have pepsi products, flavored iced coffees, apple juice,” she suggested, tugging a pad of paper out of her apron.

“What are your iced coffee flavors?” Alois was pulling the full charm, and Ciel used the leg that was still dangling to kick his shin. He hissed in pain and shot his best friend a look.

“We have vanilla, mocha, and caramel,” Mey replied, and Ciel smiled to himself at the way she pronounced  _ caramel _ . It was cute, and sophisticated for a Southside overnight waitress.

Alois pursed his lips for a moment as he pondered which one sounded best. He rested his elbow on the table and placed his chin in his hand, then said, “I’ll take the caramel.”

Mey nodded and jotted their drinks down onto the paper. “I’ll be right back with those,” she said with a sheepish smile before turning to walk away.

Ciel placed his phone onto the table between him and Alois the blonde went back to his menu. He flipped open the phone case and opened it up, clicking on the notification he’d noticed earlier. “You fucking didn’t,” he gasped as his eyes stared dead at the picture Alois had posted on his Instagram. It was his painting, and Alois grinning with his fingers in a peace sign up against his eye.

_ Does anyone know @phantomhiveofficial is one of the best artists? Seriously, guys, follow his art blog @ceilingart.tumblr.com and send him lot’s of love! #LifeOfPhantomhive #AloisSaysShit _

Alois looked up from the menu to glance at Ciel’s phone. “I did,” he said nonchalantly. “I said now, not later. You didn’t listen.” The blonde shrugged his shoulders, looking back down to the menu in front of him. “What sounds better? The bacon cheeseburger and onion rings or the all you can eat pancakes?”

“Take it down,” Ciel replied, ignoring the questions about food. He didn’t want to think about food.

“Nope,” Alois said, twirling a strand of blonde hair between his fingers. “I told you I was gonna do it. Did you think I was lying?” He laughed, and Ciel blanched. “You should know me better than that by now, Ciel, really.”

Mey chose this moment to walk back up to their table. She placed the iced coffee in front of Alois and poured a cup of hot coffee into a mug out of a carafe, then set it in front of Ciel. “Are we ready to order or do we still need a few minutes?” she asked, giving another smile, though this one was less shy and more excited.

Alois looked at the menu again and chewed his lip. “I think we’re ready,” he finally replied, and proceeded to literally order half the menu. Mey jotted everything down with speed, and then looked to Ciel expectantly.

“Oh, nothing for me,” he said, and she raised an eyebrow.

“If you decide on anything just let me know,” she said, and turned to walk off.

Ciel shut off his phone and looked at Alois, narrowing his eyes into slits. “You’re an asshole,” he said rudely.

“What?” replied the blonde, eyes wide as he grabbed for his drink and took a long gulp. “Just because you don’t play my game, doesn’t mean the game doesn’t exist.” He shrugged, and Ciel threw up his hands.

“I told you I would post it. It’s not even finished.” Ciel hugged his leg to his chest, laying his chin on his knee once again. “I don’t post things that are half-assed.”

“Please,” Alois trilled. “You worked on those eyes for three hours. Half-assed  _ my ass _ .” Alois placed his palms on the table, fingers fanned out. “It was good, and I’m a proud best friend, so get over it.”

Ciel moved his face to rub his cheek against his knee. “You’re such a bitch.”

“Yeah, well, you’re being a jerk.” Alois laughed again and nearly chugged his coffee, watching out the window. “Hmm, it’s snowing again.”

Ciel raised his head to peer out the window. Indeed, it was snowing. It was a light dusting so far, flakes sticking to the sidewalks and cars that lined the streets. Ciel couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his chest, which in turn made a fluttering in his stomach. It was disgustingly beautiful, and his mind twirled at the thought like he remembered his brother dancing to the Swan Princess when they were seven.

“Do you think you’ll ever like snow again?” Alois asked suddenly, and Ciel looked up with wide eyes.

“Why do you ask?” he questioned back, and his best friend raised an eyebrow at him.

“I mean… it’s just really pretty, and it’s fun to play with, okay?” Alois replied and a smile graced his lips.

Ciel worried his lip, then shrugged his shoulders. “I’m not sure if it’s really that easy to get over. I mean… you know why I don’t like it.” He caught a sight of Mey as she came around the corner. “Our waitress is back.”

Alois turned his entire body to beam at the server. “I am starved!” he shouted as she came up to their table and set several plates onto the table.

“I’m glad to hear it,” she said with a laugh. “I’ll be right back with the rest of it.”

Alois nodded, staring down at the food. “Can I get some ranch, as well? Lots of it. Also some like cheese sauce, if you’ve got it?”

Mey grinned. “Of course! I’ll be right back!” She turned on her heel and sprinted away.

Alois immediately grabbed a giant burger and pulled it to his face, taking a huge bite. He moaned approvingly. “Oh shit. Can you set a twenty five minute timer?” he asked around a mouthful of meat and bread.

Ciel nodded and flipped his case open again. He opened the phone and held down the home button. “Set a timer for twenty five minutes,” he said, and his phone immediately responded.

Alois grinned and took another bite, having gulped down the first before it was half-chewed. Mey returned then, holding several more plates. She set them down in front of Ciel this time, the rest of the table overwhelmed with saucers, and the teen raised his eyes to thank her, but his words stopped short.

Sebastian was at her side, carrying just as many platters as she had, and his eyes were on Ciel. A small smile was on his lips, and his cheeks were flushed with heat, his hair sticking to his forehead with sweat from the evening of work. “Ciel,” he said softly, and the boy’s heart skipped a beat… two… four, actually. Alois swerving to finally ‘peek at some ass’ made Ciel snap out of it.

“Sebastian,” he replied breathlessly, and immediately he reached up to push a loose strand of hair behind his ear.

Alois turned back to his best friend, mouthed a singular ‘wow’ at him and smirked. Ciel immediately felt a sting of jealousy, knowing how much of a flirt the fifteen year old could be.

“Can I sit with you guys?” Sebastian asked as Mey walked off and he set down the rest of the plates.

“Of course!” Alois mused, and he grabbed Sebastian’s arm to tug him down beside him. Ciel had to hold his composure to not glare at him. Sebastian’s eyes, however, never wavered from his face.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to read this, I really appreciate it! Thanks to my wonderful beta krystal_pheonix for her hard work and for listening to be bitch and complain about what to do and what wasn't working!

Sebastian finished counting out fifty dollars, then handed it over to Mey. “Thank you,” she said with a smile.

“Congratulations on your engagement, by the way,” he mentioned as his eyes caught the ring in his peripheral. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“I’m about to take the damn thing off. All of my regulars aren’t tipping as good as before. It’s pissing me off.” She ran a hand through her hair and turned to walk back out of the kitchen.

Sebastian chuckled and pulled his phone out of his pocket, relaxing back into the crappy, uncomfortable chair in the office. He clicked on the Instagram icon, flicking through his newsfeed. Ciel had been posting a lot more than usual over the last few days, pictures of him and Alois Trancy around the city. He paid no attention to the blonde in the pictures, he didn’t care about him.

That is until his thumb accidentally pressed on Ciel’s normal hastag, LifeofPhantomhive. He wasn’t expecting what popped up. Several hundreds of users posting pictures of the teen around town. Some with shopping bags on his arms, or coming out of Starbucks with coffee in his hands.

Then a picture posted about an hour ago, from prettyboi_trancy.

Alois was holding a peace sign with his middle and index fingers up against his left eye, and in the background was a painting… of him.

It was fantastic. His eyes were half-lidded, eyelashes longer than he believed he had, and the striking red color played off an embarrassed expression that he frequently wore around Ciel. His lips were pulled up on one side, into a crooked smile, and his jaw was prominent, making him look more muscular and handsome than he knew himself to be. It was breathtaking.

_ Does anyone know @phantomhiveofficial is one of the best artists? Seriously, guys, follow his art blog @ceilingart.tumblr.com and send him lot’s of love! #LifeOfPhantomhive #AloisSaysShit _

_ Ciel can draw _ , he noted as his eyebrows drew up in surprise. But holy shit, Ciel drew  _ him _ . It was surreal, knowing the teenager was actually infatuated with him, possibly as much as he seemed to be with him.

“Sebastian!” called Bard from the kitchen, and he huffed as he shut off his phone and shoved it back into his pocket. He stood and walked out of the office, throwing the cook a look. “Mey ‘as a table. Big order, apparently.” The blonde wiggled his eyebrows, and Sebastian felt his own eyebrows pull together in confusion to Bard’s excited expression.

“Bored?” he asked, referring to Bard’s eyebrow wiggling as he walked up to the window.

“Nah, just somethin’ Mey said before she walked away.” He snickered, and Sebastian shrugged it off.

Finny appeared to the window, a wide grin spread across his lips. “Does he know yet?” he asked, and Bard shook his head.

“Know what?” Sebastian questioned instantly, his eyes darting between both blondes just as Mey walked around the bar. “What are they talking about?” he finally said directed at the source.

Mey smirked as she handed him a paper with _ way  _ too much food on it. “Make all this and I’ll tell you,” she replied. Sebastian looked at the order sheet, and Bard snuck a peek over his shoulder, then whistled.

“For two models, they sure do eat a lot,” the blonde cook said, and Mey shot him a glare.

“Did you say models?” Sebastian asked, turning to look at Bard with wide eyes. “Are Ciel and Alois here?” He dropped the paper on the stove and took off for the kitchen door.

“Sebastian! No! Not yet!” Bard shouted as he grabbed for the man’s shoulders to yank him back. “We’ve got a plan, man, calm your tits!”

Mey and Finny were now inside the kitchen, pushing on his chest to keep him from walking any further. “It’s a really cute plan!” Finny whined out.

Sebastian glared at all three of them, but went back to the stove. “Tell me,” he growled as he grabbed the order sheet. He hissed as pain shot through his fingers as the tips grazed the hot surface.

The three of them stared at him in disbelief. To see Sebastian get so worked up over any one person was rare for them. The last time they’d seen something like this was when a drunk man came into the diner several years ago and had tried to make it with Mey.

She was the one who took the lead, clearing her throat. “It involves all of their food coming out first, and just… trust me, okay?”

Sebastian met her eyes, seeing her sincerity. “Okay,” he replied. He motioned Bard over. “Let’s get this done.”

It took twenty minutes - twenty long, excruciating minutes - for them to complete the order. It didn’t help that Sebastian was sluggish, and a thin sheet of sweat was forming on his brow. He wiped at his nose with his sleeve as Bard put the last plate up into the window, and he leaned back to relax against the counter.

“So what’s the plan?” he asked once more, Bard turning to look at him as he pulled a cigarette from behind his ear and placed it between his teeth.

“You’re gonna ‘elp ‘er ‘and out the food,” Bard replied as he lit the tobacco. Mey grabbed about five plates from the window and motioned him out to her.

He was out the kitchen door as fast as his heavy feet would allow him, pulling saucers from the window and piling them onto his arms. Finny helped him stay steady as Mey came back. “I’ll grab the rest,” she said. “Just follow me, act cool, okay? I didn’t tell them I’d be bringing you.” She grinned at him, and he gave her a worried and nervous smile.

He followed her out, standing about two feet away from her. His eyes caught Ciel as soon as they turned the corner past the bar to the booths next to the restrooms. He was breathtaking with his blue-gray hair falling out of the beret he wore. He raised his eyes to Mey when she came into his field of vision, but his parted lips lost whatever he was about to say when sapphire touched garnet. The heat between their eyes made Sebastian shift uncomfortably. It was an unknown feeling to him that piled in the pit of his stomach, sort of like… nausea? No, that wasn’t right. It felt better than that.

“Ciel,” he said, and his voice was stronger than he thought it would’ve been. Ciel’s cheeks were heating slowly, his eyes flicking over to Alois who sat across from him. He noticed out of his peripheral that the blonde had turned to look at him, but he couldn’t look away from the beauty that was Ciel Phantomhive.

“Sebastian,” the teen replied, his speech breathless and it made the older man giddy inside. He watched as Ciel reached up to tuck his hair behind his ear, and his heart exploded.  _ Fuck, that’s so cute _ , he thought.

“Can I sit with you guys?” Sebastian asked as he set the platters he had down on the table. There was so much food here, and only a burger had a bite taken out.  _ Is he eating? _ he wondered. He’d never seen Ciel eat before, it worried him.

Alois’ shrill, annoying voice squealed out, “Of course!” and tiny fingers curled around his bicep and pulled him down. He was sitting next to the blonde, Ciel right across from him. He paid no attention to Alois, only watched as the blue-eyed teenager raised a cup of black coffee to his lips and flicked those beautiful orbs between the two of them. “So you’re Sebastian?” Alois asked, and it took all his willpower to turn toward him and smile embarrassingly.

“Yes, pleased to meet you. You must be Alois,” he replied, holding out a hand for the blonde to shake. He didn’t, just picked up his burger and took another bite out of it. Sebastian felt his lip pull up in disgust; he’d never seen someone eat so sloppily. He turned back to Ciel, and smiled again. “Is any of this yours?”

Ciel’s eyes widened just a bit and he looked down at all the food around the table. He raised a delicate hand to grab a single fry, shoving it in his mouth plain. Sebastian watched those full lips as he chewed and then swallowed. So he could eat, that was a relief.

Sebastian relaxed back into the seat, still watching Ciel. He looked thinner, if that was even possible. Alois began speaking with his mouth full, “So I’ve heard, like, nothing about you, Sebastian.”

Sebastian raised an eyebrow at the blonde, then shrugged his shoulders. “There’s not much to tell,” he replied confidently, though his entire body felt heavy and he was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. He was thankful tomorrow was Friday, he’d get to sleep nice and easy after work.

“What do you do here?” Alois asked around another bite of burger and a handful of fries.

_ Didn’t anyone ever teach you to not speak with your mouth full? _ he wondered. “I’m the overnight manager. I also cook.” Sebastian smiled slightly.

Ciel was the next one to speak. “I didn’t know you could cook,” he said, and Sebastian looked to him. He was smiling, too, his eyes bright.

“Yeah,” he replied, reaching a hand up to push his hair from his face. “I’ve been cooking my entire life.” He stopped to let out a chuckle. “My dad was the head chef for Alinea.”

Ciel and Alois’ mouths both dropped at the same time. Alinea was one of the best rated restaurants in Chicago, and it was hard to get a job there. Even harder to make your way up to head chef. “Jesus Christ,” Alois said, having only been to the restaurant with Ciel a handful of times.

Ciel reached for another french fry, popping it into his mouth. “That’s honestly kinda awesome,” he said with a grin after swallowing the food. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It didn’t seem relevant.” Sebastian shrugged his shoulders, placing his elbow on an unoccupied section of the table and resting his chin in his palm. “I’d love to cook for you sometime, though.” Their eyes met, and to Sebastian’s surprise, Ciel paled at the thought. “Or not,” he let out quickly.

“No, no,” Ciel replied just as fast, trying to compose himself. He leaned back against the booth, grabbed his coffee, and took a small sip. “I’d like that, a lot, actually.”  _ Really? _ Sebastian thought, watching as Ciel pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth and began to chew it nervously.

Alois hadn’t said a word, had only continued to shove his food into his face. The burger was finished, and he pushed the remaining fries over to Ciel as he grabbed a plate filled with pancakes, eggs, and sausage links. “So you cook here, that’s cool. How’d you guys meet?” the blonde asked as he shoved an entire link into his mouth. It was down within seconds, and he started in on the pancakes.

“Alois, that’s not really a good story,” Ciel said hastily, tugging at one sleeve of his sweater. Sebastian finally noticed it was the same one he’d worn the day they met. He wondered briefly if it still smelled of the coffee he’d dumped on him.

“It was actually really embarrassing,” Sebastian agreed with a small laugh, his smile turning awkward. “I was trying to get home, I don’t even remember why I was on the Northside.” He shrugged. “But I kinda ran straight into him.”

Ciel laughed. “And that’s why my sweater still smells like coffee” he noted, and Sebastian looked at him with surprise. Well, that answered that question.

“It does?” he asked, grinning like a teen fawning over his first high school girlfriend. Ciel only nodded, but held out his arm toward him. Sebastian leaned in to sniff at the material, and indeed, it still smelled of coffee, but it also smelled like Ciel. The scent was intoxicating to Sebastian’s already muddled brain. It was what Sebastian imagined the ocean to smell like, salty and sweet, with a hint of vanilla and apples.

A loud beeping made Sebastian snap back in his seat and Ciel jumped, as well, sitting back against the booth once more. “Oh, twenty five minutes,” he said, and Alois nodded as he finished the eggs he’d been eating.

“If you two will excuse me,” the blonde remarked, pushing at Sebastian so he could get up. Sebastian removed himself from the booth and Alois darted to the bathrooms.

Ciel scooted further into the seat, patting right next to him. “You can sit next to me, if you’d like,” he said and Sebastian immediately took up the opportunity. Ciel looked at him with a small smile on his face, his left leg still pulled up with his knee pressed against his tiny chest. “How’s work been tonight?” he asked.

Sebastian shook his head, he didn’t want to talk about work with Ciel right in front of him like this - for the first time since his birthday. Instead, his mind went right to the picture he’d seen on Instagram. “You painted me,” he said in reply, and Ciel gaped at him in shock.

“You have an Instagram?” was all he could think of to say. Sebastian let out a laugh, and Ciel couldn’t help smiling in return. “I asked Alois not to post it. It’s not finished.”

Sebastian shook his head. “It’s really good for not being finished,” he replied. “No one’s ever drawn me before.” It was beyond flattering, even more so coming from Ciel. “I really like it.”

Ciel’s cheeks had become darker and darker with every word, and he made his eyes keep contact with his knee. “Thank you,” he whispered, making Sebastian’s heart lurch. Sebastian leaned closer, pressing two fingers under the teen’s chin to lift his head. Their lips were mere inches from each other’s, and Sebastian could feel Ciel’s breath fanning against his face. It smelled like coffee. He wondered if he would taste the same.

Alois came out of the bathroom, then, and both Ciel and Sebastian pulled away from one another without thinking. Though Ciel’s cheeks were a deep rose, Alois thought nothing of it as he plopped back down. He plucked Ciel’s phone from off the table and used Siri to set another twenty-five minute timer. “Damn, it’s already four thirty?” he asked in surprise, Sebastian’s eyes widened in response.

“Is it really? I should get back to work,” Sebastian said, looking back over to Ciel to smile at him. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

Ciel let out the cutest little giggle in response. “We’ll be here, don’t worry.” Sebastian nodded and raised a hand to brush the back of his knuckles down one of his prominent cheekbones.

Sebastian got up to walk away, hearing Alois squeal when he got out of what they thought was hearing distance. He chuckled as he walked back to the bar, leaning against it. Mey and Finny were standing at the window, whispering with Bard. He came up and wrapped his arms around both the server’s shoulders.

“You look ‘appy,” Bard said, and Sebastian threw him a lazy grin.

“Yeah,” he responded. “Anyways, we should get ready for Karen, guys.” He took his arms away from Mey and Finny. “I’ll be in the office for your checkout, okay?”

Mey nodded and went on her way back to her table. Finny went to check his section, to make sure it was clean and ready for his departure. Bard began to clean and stock the kitchen. Their usual tasks.

Sebastian made his way through the kitchen back to the manager’s office, plopped down into the uncomfortable chair, and grabbed a pack of cigarettes from off the desk. He pulled one out and lit it, taking a nice long drag. The nicotine did nothing to make his head stop pounding, the scent of Ciel still very much on his brain. His breath on his face, his vanilla, apple, and coffee smelling shirt. He probably tasted like summer nights and the French language - hot, crisp, and sweet.

Sebastian groaned low in his throat, pressing the cigarette to his lips again. He exhaled through his nose, the smoke filling the tiny room with ease. He clicked the computer on and began to sift through his paperwork. It was all standard, and he was finishing up right as Finny bounced into the office. “My section is finished!” the blonde server said bubbly.

“Did you do your side work?” Sebastian asked in a monotone voice, taking the last drag of his cigarette before smashing it down into an ashtray that was kept on the desk.

“Yup! I’ve also rolled all my silverware. My last table left while you were sitting with Ciel, so I was able to do everything pretty fast.” Finny was giddy, ready to leave. Sebastian looked at him with a raised eyebrow. He pulled a card out of his pocket and handed it over.

“Get your checkout slip and come back.” Finny nodded and ran off, narrowly avoiding Mey as she came up to do the same.

“I’ve got a little left, but Ciel and that blonde guy just paid. Get this, eighty-five dollars worth of food.” Mey rolled her eyes as she grabbed for the pack on the desk. She pulled one out and put it to her lips. Sebastian flicked his lighter meeting her cigarette. “Really good tip, though. I like them,” she laughed as she exhaled.

“How good was it?” Sebastian asked as he leaned back in his seat.

“Twenty eight bucks,” she squealed, and he grinned in response.

“Nice!” Sebastian held out his hand as Finny came back with his card. He took the checkout slip from him and checked it for the amount of money he’d need to drop for the night. “Forty three dollars, Finny.”

The blonde server counted out the money and handed it over, then counted what was left over. “Ugh,” he whined. “Ninety four for the night.” He groaned and leaned back against the doorframe. Mey offered her cigarette to him, and he shook his head. “I need to get ahold of Claude.”

Mey scoffed as she took another drag. “Good luck. I’ve been trying to get ahold of him for the last three days.” She pouted. “I’ve been dry for five.”

Finny pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed a number. He glared at his phone when the call went straight to voicemail. “Some fucking dealer,” he growled.

“Let’s stop talking about drugs and do our jobs, okay?” Sebastian interjected. He turned to the computer and began to type numbers into the daily spreadsheet.

“I’m surprised you’re in here doing your job instead of out there,” Finny said as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Why would I be?” Sebastian responded, turning to look at Finny through his peripheral vision as his fingers gracefully played the keys.

Mey rolled her eyes. “Don’t tease him. He’s too dense,” she told Finny and they both giggled like children. Bard walked up to them and wrapped his arms around Mey’s waist, laying his head on her shoulder. “It’s surprising that he’s more stupid than my idiot.”

“Who’s stupider than me?” Bard asked, taking Mey’s wrist in his hand to draw her cigarette to his lips. 

Finny laughed. “Sebastian,” he wheezed out, which made the man turn to him.

“What?” Sebastian asked, and all three of his co-workers burst out in laughter that brought tears to their eyes. “What’s so funny?” He looked at them all bewilderedly, his mind racing at what he hadn’t been paying attention to - and why was it so goddamn funny?

“Nothing,” Mey finally replied after calming herself down enough to speak. “Hurry up with your paperwork.”

Sebastian huffed. “Cigarette out. Everyone go back to work. I want sections pristine and the kitchen spotless.” The three groaned and Mey smashed her cancer stick out into an ashtray on the desk. They all walked off mumbling something about Sebastian being moody.  _ Ingrates _ , he thought to himself as he turned back to the computer.

It took him a good twenty more minutes to complete, but when he did, he stretched his arms above his head and heard the joints of his elbows crack with the pressure. He did the same with his knees and almost groaned when they popped. He shut the computer down and went out to the kitchen, noticing Bard was already finished and enjoying a cigarette next to the break table. “Looks good in here,” Sebastian said, throwing his favorite chef a smile.

“Yeah, thanks for the ‘elp,” Bard retorted, but flashed him a grin in response. “I think Mey is almost finished, too. You should go check ‘er section so we can leave.”

Sebastian nodded. “I was about to. I’ll let her know she’s good to go.” He ducked out of the kitchen and walked around the bar, looking at all the tables around Finny’s section. “You’re good, Finn, get out of here.”

“Thank you, Sebastian! I’ll see you at home!” Finny spared no time as he clocked out of his shift and raced for the door.

Mey was sitting down in her section in the same booth Ciel and Alois had been occupying. She stared out the window, eyes narrowed as Sebastian approached her.

“What are you doing?” he asked, tilting his head slightly to look at her with confusion plastered on his face. “Your section looks good. You know you can leave.”

She ignored what he said, turning her gaze to that of her boss. “Those boys are outside still. I think they’re waiting for you.”

Sebastian’s heart leapt into his throat.  _ It’s almost five in the morning. Doesn’t Ciel need sleep? _ he wondered to himself. “I’ll tell them to go home,” he lied.

Mey shrugged her shoulders, calling his bluff. “Doesn’t matter to me. You’re a big boy, but -” She cut her words off as she stood from the booth and grabbed the broom she’d been using. “There’s something about Ciel that kind of worries me. Did you see him eat tonight?”

So it wasn’t just him. “Not very much, no.” He had to really think about what he had seen him eat.  _ Was it two french fries? Three? Did he use ketchup?  _ He’d have to start paying closer attention when he was around the teenager. He was too skinny. His thighs didn’t touch, and his collarbones were deep enough to dip food out of. His cheekbones were prominent and his jawline was sharp. He was beautiful, there was no denying it - but Sebastian was sure he’d be even more beautiful with his thighs touching and his stomach a little pudgy. He hoped to see that someday.

“He’s a good kid, Sebastian,” Mey said, pulling him from his thoughts. “Make sure he eats something, will you?”

He nodded. Of course he would. “Go home, Mey. Get some sleep.” She kissed his cheek as she passed him. He plopped down into the booth and placed his elbows on the table, smoothed his hair out of his face and sighed deep. His hands were shaking, his brow covered in sweat, and he wiped his sleeve under his nose then sniffled. It had been a long week, an even longer night, and he was ready for it to just be over.

With Mey and Bard gone, he finished up his things and shut off the lights in the front of house and walked out into the crisp air of the early morning. He locked up and began to walk in the direction of his apartment.

“Sebastian!” called the voice of Alois from across the street. He turned to look at the two teenagers and they both giggled to each other. “Where are you going?”

“Home,” he shouted back.

It was Ciel’s turn to speak, and butterflies filled Sebastian’s churning stomach with what he said. “Can we come?” Their eyes locked on one another, and the butterflies threatened to explode through his chest as they began to fill his lungs.

“I don’t see why not,” Sebastian managed to reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Send me some kudos and comments! I always appreciate you guys giving me feedback <3
> 
> Follow me on tumblr and ask me about the story @ addictiontofiction13.tumblr.com


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... it's been a while. We haven't posted since April and I'm going to apologize for that so fuckin hard. Thank you, as always, to my wonderful beta and best friend, krystal_pheonix, without whom this story would still be discontinued. Leave a comment if you get the reference.

“B-But I-”

“Silence is your friend, Ciel,” Grell said as he walked around the teenager slowly. Circling like some sort of prey. The boy could only tremble as he glued his mouth shut.

Silence, beauty, grace.

A model’s true role - to be a robot.

“He needs work,” the redhead said, emerald eyes lifting from Ciel’s bare feet all the way up to his blueberry hair. “Though… I’m sure I could work something out for him. He’s small, but he’s not small enough.”

“He can lose weight,” his aunt said from behind him, and Ciel turned to look at her with wide, azure eyes. She straightened her lips and raised a petite, blood-colored eyebrow in his direction. “Eyes forward.”

The thirteen year old snapped his head back as instructed. Silence, no words, mouth shut. Like a model should be.

“Twenty pounds.” Grell’s voice was flat, flatter than Ciel’s already flat stomach. “Tuesday, we’ll do headshots.” The redheaded man stopped in front of him, locked with the teen. “Yes?”

“Yes,” Angelina said in response for him. “He’ll be ready.”

***

Alois looked so out of place in Sebastian’s apartment. It made Ciel wonder if he looked the same, standing in the doorway with winter-kissed cheeks and a light dusting of snow in his hair. He walked further inside, shut the door behind him, and watched as Alois kicked his legs up on the small table in front of the couch as his tiny ass filled up half the space that his own fatness would’ve taken up. “It’s cute,” Alois said, throwing a grin to Sebastian who was halfway in the kitchen.

“Thanks,” Sebastian replied. “I think.” He turned to look at Ciel, who was standing awkwardly in the doorway. He flashed that half-crooked, embarrassed smile. “Are you going to come in?”

Ciel’s back straightened and he nodded twice. “Y-Yeah,” he stuttered out sheepishly. “Sorry.”

Sebastian grinned like an idiot as he watched Alois get comfortable. The blonde looked so at home, and it truly surprised him. He shrugged it off, though, as he watched Ciel move further inside. He truly was beautiful.

“I’m going to clean some stuff up in the kitchen really quick,” the oldest man there said nonchalantly, stuffing his hands down into his pants. He pulled a crumpled up pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket and put one to his lips, lighting it as he went into the kitchen.

“Mind if I join you?” the blue-haired teen asked, his cheeks still a light pink. Sebastian could hardly tell if they were still dark from the cold or from his own adorable embarrassment.

“No, it's okay. I won’t take long. Chill out, have a seat,” he replied as he blew the smoke out.

“O...kay?” said the boy softly.

Sebastian disappeared into the kitchen just as Ciel sat down on the couch next to Alois, pulling his legs to his chest. 

“This is a really shitty place,” Alois whispered to his best friend, making Ciel laugh quietly.

“I mean it is the South side.”

“Yeah, but…” the blonde crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t know. Sebastian is pretty hot, though, right?” Icy blue eyes slid over to Ciel's face and a knowing, sly smirk spread across his face.

Ciel’s cheeks darkened and he looked away from the younger of the two damn near immediately. “Shut the fuck up, would you?”

“Admit you like him, then,” Alois prompted, bumping their shoulders together.

Ciel chewed on the inside of his cheek, mulling this over for a good few minutes. “I mean… ugh… We’re not like that, Alois. He, like, he cares and yeah, he’s cute and all, but he’s so much older than us.” The teen threw his head back onto the back of the couch and groaned. “It’s complicated.”

“Everything’s complicated, Ciel.” The blonde shrugged and readjusted in his seat to turn toward his best friend. “If you like him, you like him. If you don’t like him, you don’t like him. The heart wants what it wants, ya know? Like I totally wanted that cheeseburger tonight. Sebastian’s your cheeseburger, dude.”

The two sat in silence, their thoughts muddled and jumbling together - much like their legs spread out on the couch.

Sebastian came out of the kitchen shortly afterwards, finished with his cigarette. “So… movie?” the older asked and the blonde was nearly vibrating in his seat in excitement.

“Movie!” he exclaimed with a nod. “Hell yes!”

***

Sebastian had no idea what movie they’d even chosen, he only had a handful - so it must have been something he enjoyed. Alois had fallen asleep about twenty minutes in, spread himself out on the couch to the point that Ciel had needed to join Sebastian on the floor. There they sat, leaning back, facing one another, the movie forgotten.

“Your parents sounded perfect,” the teenager said, knees pulled to his chest and arms around his legs.

The man shrugged his shoulders, bumping one knee up against Ciel’s. “They were pretty awesome before they passed, yeah.” He turned his face toward the television, watching as the hero of the film pushes another into a volcano. “I miss them a lot.”

Their fingers touched and Ciel curled his index and middle around Sebastian’s. “I know what you mean,” he whispered quietly, a soft sigh escaping his lips. “What happened to them?”

“My mom passed away from cancer when I was nine.” Sebastian shook his head, a small, unamused smile on his lips as he went back in time. “I didn’t understand death back then, I thought she was just leaving for a few days. Dad took me to the funeral and seeing her like that was what made it real for me.” He shrugged again, his fingers gripping just a bit tighter onto the teen’s. “Dad passed the same as mom when I was eighteen. He was the best man, I swear. The reason I want to open my own restaurant.”

“You want to open your own restaurant?” Ciel asked and his eyes sparkled. He wanted to make that dream a reality for Sebastian.

“Oh, yeah. He was the most amazing chef, it was his goal, too. I’ve even got my eyes on a place in the Northside that he always wanted to buy, but at this rate I’ll never have the money for it.” He chuckled.

“I’d love to see it someday,” replied the teen.

“I’d love to take you there.”

The two scooted just a little closer and their fingers completely intertwined. Their knees completely pressed together. “What do you want to be when you grow up, Ciel?” Sebastian asked after a few moments of silence. “Do you want to be a model for the rest of your life?”

Ciel scoffed. “Hell no.” His cheeks instantly darkened. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course you can.” Sebastian squeezed the teen’s hand in his own, their eyes locking on one another’s as their faces closed the distance just a few more inches. Their lips almost touching, Ciel’s breath fanning his face and Sebastian’s doing the same to him.

“I never wanted to be a model,” he murmured, just barely audible past the almost-muted television. Ciel sighed and Sebastian inhaled the bitter scent of coffee that still lingered on his tongue. “I’ve always wanted to be an artist.”

“Why are you a model, then? Follow your dreams.”

Ciel pulled away, then - scooted farther away and untangled their fingers. “It’s not that simple. My aunt… she took custody after my family died.” He ran a hand through his silvery-blue hair and another deep breath left him. “She wanted me to become a model, to support her.”

“You’re aunt shouldn’t use you like that, Ciel,” Sebastian stated, reaching out a hand to brush the few stray hairs from the boy’s face. “You deserve so much better.”

Ciel looked at Sebastian and their eyes locked. “Thank you,” he whispered, his heart clenching in the sweetest of ways. “Sebastian, you have no idea how nice it is to know someone who doesn’t think of me as Ciel Phantomhive, the model, but Ciel Phantomhive, the person.”

Sebastian smiled that same embarrassed smile the teen loved and scooted closer again to close the distance between them. He looped an arm around the boy’s shoulder and leaned down until their foreheads touched and noses bumped together. “You’re just a person, Ciel. A wonderful one.”

Both their eyes shot down to their lips, the distance so close. Ciel was more than ready for this moment, to finally share his first kiss with someone he was so comfortable with, with someone who treated him as an equal and not a higher being or a lesser one. Sebastian was more than ready for this moment, to kiss a teenage boy he had started falling in love with.

And just as their lips were about to touch, three bangs slammed on the front door of the shitty little apartment on the Southside of Chicago. Sebastian’s head snapped up in the direction of the door and Alois shot straight up on the couch. “Pandas don’t eat macaroni!” the blonde shouted as he came out of sleep. 

Ciel turned to look at Alois with the most perplexed expression. “What do you dream about?” he asked as Sebastian stood to open the door.

Sebastian stepped back when he answered the door, eyes wide and fist clenched at his side. No, not now, he thought to himself, but threw on a smile. “Claude, wonderful to see you again.”

“Hey, man. Been busy, but was here for Finny and Mey, so I figured I’d stop by.” Claude peeked his head into the apartment, taking note of the two teenagers. “Woah, didn’t realize you had company.”

Ciel looked at the man who stepped inside like he owned the place. He was… dirty was the only way the boy could think to describe him. His nails were long with dirt underneath them, his hair was unbrushed and greasy, his clothes were too big for him and had holes all over, and his glasses were smudged to hell.

“No, it’s fine. They were just leaving.” Sebastian shut the door behind Claude and turned to look at Ciel and Alois, his eyes holding a sternness the models knew they shouldn't question. They immediately got up and Alois hastily pulled on his shoes.

They were ushered out quickly and Ciel hung back just a bit to grab at Sebastian’s arm. “Who is he?” he whispered, frantic in Sebastian’s sudden haste.

“No one. Don’t worry about it. I’ll text you.” He shrugged off Ciel’s hand and slammed the door in his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you didn't get the reference, you should go watch The Haunting of Hill House to be emotionally scarred with me, haha xD
> 
> Follow me on tumblr to ask about my stories: addictiontofiction13.tumblr.com
> 
> Please share with your friends, leave a comment to tell me your favorite part, and kudos so I know you liked the whole thing! Next update soon, I promise.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached 100 kudos! Thank you so much for sending in your feedback here and asks on tumblr, it truly means the world and will continue to do so. I write for myself, but honestly, you guys and your adoration for my anorexic baby and stupid chef make it so much easier. Thank you, as always, to krystal_pheonix for her help with making this chapter happen.

“Who is he?” Ciel mumbled, his grip on Sebastian’s arm tightening ever so slightly to show his panic, eyes glued to the man’s face.

Sebastian shrugged his hand off, glaring down at the teen like he were a child - less than that, even. “No one. Don’t worry about it. I’ll text you.”

And the door slammed shut.

Tears welled up in sapphire eyes and his throat burned with the taste of rejection. Ciel stood there silently as Alois tugged on his arm. “Ciel, let’s go,” whispered the blonde, but the boy stayed there, staring at the golden P4 with empty, dead eyes. “Ciel, come on.” Alois tugged harder and finally Ciel’s feet moved with him.

They walked like that, with Alois dragging him along, for a block… then two… then three, before they finally stopped to sit on an uncomfortable, wooden bench somewhere closer to home. Ciel stared at the dead trees, the wind blowing what little leaves were left on them, and went back over what had just happened again and again and again, until his mind went blank.

“No one. Don’t worry about it. I’ll text you.”

Sebastian just forced him out without so much as an explanation. What even was that? What was going on? Who was that guy?

“He was a drug dealer,” Alois said suddenly, and Ciel jumped at the simple sound of his voice, turned to look at his best friend and tilted his head.

“What?”

“That guy, he was a drug dealer.”

A drug dealer? Was Alois crazy? “Sebastian isn’t a user,” he said confidently. “They’re probably just friends or something, it’s nothing.”

“Ciel, do you kick your possible boyfriend out when your friends come over?”

“Look I know I haven’t known him forever, but he’s not a druggie.” Ciel’s eyebrows burrowed and he felt his hands ball to fists. “You don’t know him like I do, Alois, so shut the fuck up because you don’t know what you’re fucking talking about.”

Alois’ eyes widened in pure shock. “Are you fucking serious? Dude’s grade A drug addict. He was sweating like crazy last night, sniffling like he’s sick, and dude is almost as thin as we are without the eating disorders!”

Ciel rolled his eyes and stood up, glaring down at his best friend. “He was at work, he’s got a fucking cold, and he works for a living - unlike me or you, so seriously, shut the fuck up, Alois!”

“Fine, I’ll shut up, but you’re being so fucking stupid, Ciel, seriously. Like, this isn’t even remotely cool, dude.” Alois stood, as well, and crossed his arms over his chest as he looked around himself. “Where even are we? I want to pack and go home.”

Ciel looked around and faltered. “I… I don’t know.”

“Well, that’s just fucking great. You had to go into your stupid dream-like state so I had to take care of you and now we’re fucking lost.”

Ciel rolled his eyes and pulled his phone out. “Hey, Siri, where am I?” he said into the speaker.

“Ciel, it looks like you’re at Gage Park on West Fifty-fifth Street in Chicago, Illinois,” Siri responded and the teen groaned.

“Call your driver, we’re not getting home any time soon without him.”

Alois whipped out his phone immediately.

***

“Uhm… is everything okay?” Ciel asked the driver - he couldn’t remember the guy’s name, probably something stupid and British like Jarvis or something.

“Ms. Dalles was worried about you and Mr. Trancy, Mr. Phantomhive,” Jarvis replied as he parked the car on the side of the street in front of Ciel’s house. Three police cruisers were in the driveway behind Angelina’s bright red Cherokee Jeep.

“Worried about me?” he questioned with surprise as he opened the door and ran inside.

Angelina was immediately at the door with her mascara streamed down her cheeks as if she had been crying for hours. “Ciel! Oh my god, I was so worried about you! Where on earth have you been?” She wrapped him in a hug, her entire pudgy body nearly smothering him as she pushed his face into her breasts.

“Yeah, so I heard,” responded the teenager as he weaseled out of her arms. “I go out all the time at night, why is this such a big deal?”

“Why is this such a big deal? I thought you’d been kidnapped, and Alois, too! You both just left in the middle of the night while I was asleep, you’re still only a child, Ciel. What if you’d been hurt? We would have had to cancel the shoot tomorrow if you had gotten even so much as a bruise on your face.”

So that was it, he thought. He understood. “Oh, so you’re worried that you wouldn’t be able to keep up this glamorous lifestyle if I just suddenly disappear? This house is already paid off, Angelina, you’ve got about what? Twelve million in the bank right now?”

“It’s not about the money,” she hissed, wiping below her eyes to fix the mascara that still clung to her lashes. “It’s about making sure you’re safe, Ciel. You’re my only nephew left, what would your mother say if I lost you, too?”

Ciel’s mouth dropped open in pure, complete shock, tears welled in his eyes for the second time today. “F-Fuck you,” he stuttered out around the lump forming in his throat. He pushed past her and walked upstairs.

“Go to your room!” Angelina shouted up the stairs.

“I’m already in my room!” he screamed back before slamming the door. He sank down to the ground and really started to cry.

“You okay?” Alois asked from across the room as he shoved clothes into his luggage bags.

Ciel looked up from his curled up knees and sniffled. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just got into a huge fight with Angelina, is all. She mentioned my mom.”

Alois rolled his eyes and walked across the room to sink to the floor against the door with his best friend. “Fuck her,” he replied.

“That’s what I said,” Ciel giggled and Alois smiled, then he wiped his cheek.

“Jeeves is waiting for me downstairs. I told him we were going home early. Hannah called while you were downstairs, too, so I really do need to go. She said I’ve got an audition in two days.”

“Yeah, twenty-nine hour drive. You really should get going.” Ciel opened his arms and Alois snuggled up against him. “I’m sorry about earlier, Alois.”

“Hey, it’s fine. We’ll be okay, as always.” Alois pulled his phone from his waistband and raised it up with his camera ready. “Say goodbye, Chicago!”

Ciel gasped. “I just finished crying, Alois!”

“You look fine!” he promised him. They both held up a peace sign, Alois made a kissy face, and Ciel pulled his signature wink. The blonde snapped the picture and instantly posted it on Instagram.

Goodbye, Chicago! Hello, my beautiful home of L.A! #MissingMyBestieAlready #LifeOfPhantomhive #AloisSaysShit

They both got up off the floor and Ciel helped Alois finish packing all his clothes up. They embraced hard and Ciel kissed the blonde’s cheek. “Remember not to keep it all down more than thirty minutes.”

“I won’t forget. Don’t eat, okay?”

“Never do.” Ciel smiled happily and waved as Alois headed downstairs.

***

“Okay, Ciel, this one should be an easy pose for you. Are you sure you don’t want some water or something?”

“I’m fine, let’s just get these finished.” Ciel laid down on the soft couch he was posing with and let his head fall over the edge to stare at the camera from an upside down position. What was with him today? he wondered.

All morning, he’d felt nauseous and with the last few poses, he’d been dizzy when he’d untangled himself from them. This had never happened before, and he figured maybe it was his favorite 5 calorie roast from Starbucks that had done this to him - so he’d poured it out at about halfway. He counted it as 3 calories, since he wasn’t sure exactly how much he’d taken in.

The last thing he’d eaten… he almost couldn’t remember, but then he suddenly did and paled at the thought. Two french fries from Sebastian’s diner at three am two nights ago. Why had he done that to himself? They were so fatty and disgusting and greasy, and he was so upset with himself.

The snap of the camera brought him from his thoughts and he sat up, head spinning. “Alright, Ciel, you’ve done good today. We’re gonna have to do some massive editing on these photos, though, you look sick. You should go home and get some rest,” said the photographer.

“Thank you, Robert, you’re lovely to work with, as always.” Ciel flashed a smile toward the man. He walked toward his dressing room to rid himself of the clothes he was showing off today, and walked right in without even thinking.

The heavy door swung open and he froze. Not two feet in front of him was a full length mirror. The thing touched both floor and ceiling, and it only crossed his mind for a moment of how it had been able to appear in his dressing room within the hour he’d been taking pictures. What truly caught his attention was the firetruck red hair standing in front of the mirror.

“Lovely, isn’t it?” Grell said, pulling at one of his cheeks and staring at himself. “I thought you might like it.” He turned to face Ciel, and his lips were a thin line, his emerald eyes cold. “Have you been using the treadmill I sent you? You look like you’ve put on weight.”

The teen’s throat went dry, and his eyes instantly fell to the floor. He swallowed twice, feeling extremely small, even in the clothes that were clinging to his skin, despite his tiny size. “Grell, I-”

“Eyes forward, mouth shut.” Ciel’s head whipped back to the atrocity in front of him. “I take good care of you, don’t I?” Grell asked, putting his hands behind his back and standing taller. “So I’m just wondering Ciel, why you look like you’ve put on weight. Oh, but I already know, don’t I? Someone isn’t sticking to their diet like we’ve talked about.”

Ciel shook his head, unsure of what the man meant. He always counted his calories, always made sure his weight was down more the next morning and fasted when it wasn’t. “Grell, I swear-”

“So tell me,” he was cut off again, “what are you allowed to eat? I’m pretty sure french fries were not on the list we agreed upon three years ago.” Grell pulled his phone from his back pocket and opened it with a flick of his wrist. “Are they allowed to eat that, asks this caption from a woman named lexybaby67 on Instagram two nights ago.” He turned the phone to Ciel who reached out for it and instantly looked at a picture of him putting a singular french fry in his fatass muzzle, Alois with a mouthful of burger, and the back of Sebastian’s head. “Now tell me, Ciel, are you allowed to eat that?”

Ciel’s perfectly thin fingers were trembling from the question, the tone of Grell’s voice running ice cold fear through his veins. “N-No,” he responded, lowering his gaze from the phone as he handed it back over.

“That’s what I thought.” Grell reached forward and grabbed Ciel’s face between his thumb and index finger, sharp and blood red nails digging into his hollow cheeks. “Down three pounds in the next two days or you can forget about Fashion Week in Paris. I will cancel that trip, do not test me.”

Grell stood back up straight, dropped Ciel’s face, and plastered on a - what would look genuine to the non-observant eye - smile. “It’s always a pleasure to see you, darling. Great talk, good work out there today! Ta.” He blew him a kiss and briskly sauntered out of the room, leaving Ciel a crumpled mess in front of a full length mirror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smash that kudos button if you enjoyed the chapter, and tell me your favorite part.
> 
> Pester me over on tumblr at addictiontofiction13.tumblr.com


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone!
> 
> I want to say thank you so much for 100 kudos and 1000 hits! I'm so happy that so many sebaciel fans have enjoyed this fanfiction to this point. Rias and I seriously cannot thank you enough.
> 
> Thank you, as always, to krystal_pheonix for putting up with me in the late hours of the night (it's 11:35pm) to get this chapter editted and posted for you wonderful readers.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll text you later.” Sebastian pulled his arm from Ciel’s grasp and shut the door on the shocked face of the boy he was falling in love with. He immediately turned toward Claude, steam nearly coming from his ears. “What the fuck are you doing here unannounced?”

Claude raised an eyebrow over his smudged to hell glasses and cocked his head to one side. “Was that Ciel Phantomhive?” he responded. “Are you banging Ciel Phantomhive now?” 

Sebastian fumed. “I am not banging Ciel Phantomhive,” he growled.

“But you are fucking him,” Claude concluded with a nod and a sly smirk. “Respect.”

“I’m not having sex with him, god. Get your mind out of the fucking gutter.” Sebastian rolled his eyes and ran his hands down his face. “Is that why you came over here?”

“Well, no, I came to give Finny and Mey their shit, figured I’d stop by since I was in the area.”

“And I’d have been perfectly fine with that, had I not had company.” He wiped his nose on his sleeve.

“Sorry, then. I’ll just go.” Claude straightened his back and squared his shoulders. “Next time you need me, don’t call.” He pulled his glasses off his face and wiped them on his nasty shirt, then put them back - wiping them only made more smudges appear. He pushed past Sebastian, opened the door, and was gone.

Sebastian stared at the door and rubbed at his face with his hands again. “Kill me,” he mumbled to himself, then finally flopped down onto the couch, which definitely still smelled like Alois, much to his dismay. Alois didn’t smell near as good as the vanilla, apples, and coffee of Ciel’s sweater. He couldn’t believe he’d ruined not one, but two perfect opportunities to kiss Ciel tonight. What an idiot, he thought to himself.

A shower later, Sebastian was knocking on Mey’s door. He didn’t remember getting down there, but honestly he was so used to getting blackouts now that it didn't even faze him. He was greeted by Mey with her head on the door and arm above her head. “Well, look who it is! Did you fuck him?”

Sebastian growled and pushed past her. “Shut up,” he responded, knowing she hadn’t heard his discussion with Claude. Besides she looked already… gone.

“Come on, Se-bastian,” Mey blurted back as she slammed the door shut with her back against it. “Did you kiss him?” She had already slithered back in front of him and stood on her tiptoes, her face way too close for comfort.

Sebastian instantly stepped back and placed his hands on her shoulders to keep her off of him. “Where is Bard?” he asked flatly while staring into her too big eyes.

Mey instantly pouted, her lip jutted out and eyes all cute and sad. “He’s in the kitchen,” she said and he let go of her shoulders to make his way to the kitchen.

“She’s already handsy,” Sebastian stated when he got into the kitchen.

Bard was standing at the counter, wetting the paper on a freshly rolled blunt. He raised his eyes to Sebastian and smiled slightly. “She’s already ‘ad a line, maybe two since Claude left. She was dry for five or six days, it was pretty bad.” He grabbed a lighter off the counter behind him and instantly lit up the joint. “‘e come see you?”

“Yeah, he did,” Sebastian replied and ran a hand through his hair. “Can I get some of that?”

Bard raised an eyebrow as he held the smoke in his lungs, then reluctantly handed over the weed. “What ‘appened?” he coughed out.

“Long story, but I didn’t get laid last night, if you’re wondering about that, too.” Sebastian took a long drag and passed the blunt back. He exhaled after a few seconds, then they both joined Mey in the living room.

Sebastian laid back on the couch, Bard across from him in a recliner. They continued to pass the joint back and forth as Mey got comfortable in Sebastian’s lap and played with his sweater. “So what ‘appened?” Bard repeated.

“Yeah, what happened, Se-bastian!” Mey piped up, one hand moving up and down his chest - now under his shirt.

Sebastian rolled his eyes and spoke to Bard. “Ciel and Alois spent the night, and dude, my god it was insane. Alois fell asleep pretty early and Ciel and I just stayed up talking all night.” He took another drag off the blunt and handed it back to Bard. “Honestly,” he said after a few moments of holding in the smoke, “I had the opportunity to kiss the fucker last night, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”

“Pussy,” Bard replied.

And Mey hiccuped a giggle. “Se-bastian is a pussy,” she sang quietly, then nuzzled her nose into the crook of his neck. “That Ciel kid is soooo cute. I’m gonna steal him from you.”

“I doubt that,” Sebastian replied as he ran his hand up and down her back.

The door to their apartment came open and Finny stood in the doorway for a few moments, just taking in the scene before him. “I was wondering where you guys were,” he said, eyes wide and pupils beyond huge. “How long has there been a giant dog outside? It was huge and white and pretty and I swear it breathed fire.”

It was Bard's turn to roll his eyes as he looked toward the open door. “You're tripping, Finny. Come inside, please, you’re letting it all the cold air.”

Finny shut the door and stood there in the doorway for.. probably the rest of the night. “I like the new lamp here,” he muttered.

“It was an antique,” Mey chimed in, her hand now playing with Sebastian's hair. He and Bard continued to pass the blunt back and forth.

“So you didn't even kiss ‘im, then?” Bard spoke, making Sebastian snap back into reality.

“No, I didn't. I was so close when Claude came over all of a sudden, and I was too confused and angry to think straight.” Sebastian leaned his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. “I kicked Ciel out and then I pissed Claude off. It was.. fuck, it was a mess.”

“Oh, so that's why you're smoking my weed.” Bard laughed and Sebastian h near blushed. “Nah, man, I get it. It’s fine. I buy enough for the four of us to smoke whenever, but you really shouldn’t piss Claude off. ‘ave you seen the kind of people ‘e ‘angs around?”

“What kind of people would you hang out with if you were a cocaine dealer?” Mey said as she sat up suddenly and glared at her fiance. “His friend’s could literally kill us.” Though her words were serious, her tone was like a song and she giggled to herself afterwards. “Oh, that’d be funny.”

“How would that be funny?” Sebastian asked her and she just shrugged.

“When did you guys replace light bulbs with dragons?” Finny said from the corner, completely serious tone and that set Bard and Sebastian into a fit of laughter.

“We didn’t get a dragon, Finny. You’re tripping,” Mey giggled and jumped off of Sebastian suddenly. She stretched her arms high above her head, exposing her midriff. “Look, alls I’m saying is” - she staggered a little as she turned and pointed at Sebastian - “you’re an idiot.” She glared at him. “If you want to kiss him, just do it!” She walked over to Finny and grabbed his hand to push him toward the couch. “You can sit there, little tripper.” Then she finally turned to Bard. “And you. Bedroom. Now.”

Bard wiggled his eyebrows at Sebastian as he stood up. “Good luck, mate,” he said.

“Yeah, thanks.” Sebastian closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please comment your favorite part or any questions you may have on the chapter - I try to reply to them as quickly as possible and as many as possible - and kudos if you haven't already done so!
> 
> Follow me on tumblr (after the protest!) at addictiontofiction13.tumblr.com since I'm not planning on deleting  
> Follow Rias (krystal_pheonix) on tumblr, if you want, too, at psychicphantom.tumblr.com


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